Best Biker Bar - 2006
Nothin' Fancy Bar and Grill - CLOSED
Led Zepp tattoos, handlebar mustaches, and skullcap bandannas: That kind of biker symbology you can find just about anywhere. What really counts at a biker bar worth the title are two fundamentals: babes and brawls. Nothin' Fancy's girls are the real thing: tanned and leathery with wind-beaten, low-lidded stares that look straight through you to an asphalt horizon. On Saturday nights, one gal is stationed at the door to welcome you off your hog with a winsome smile and a rusty wink, and by the time you've gotten yourself a seat beneath one of the bra bouquets that dangle from the ceiling throughout the bar -- all C or D cups, rest assured -- a different hoary venus is by your side, pressing her twin helmets into your chest and making sure your tank is full. As for brawls, Nothin' Fancy has the finest: In 2004, it made the news when a patron attacked three customers with a baseball bat, only to be stopped cold when one of them, a permit-packing gun-toter named Kevin Kelly, shot him in the stomach at point-blank range. The attacker, John Nicol, later got off scott free when a Palm Beach County jury acquitted him of aggravated assault and battery, which means he can belly up to the Fancy bar any one of these nights. You can't get much more authentic than that.