Best Place for Cougars to Hunt - 2011
Whole Foods Market
A cougar needs to hunt for young males, and the cubs are in need of some cash. (It's OK, cougars: Everyone agrees there's nothing wrong with being a sugar mama.) So, really, the natural location to find a cougar is Whole Foods. What young gent can easily afford a $15 bottle of jelly on his own? But to linger by the jellies would be uncouth for a cougar. She needs to be the lioness, royalty, even though she is wearing her yoga pants. Cougars need to be in the meat section. They sashay near the deli case. But they also need to smell good. Cougars need you to know that they do smell very good. Where the younger populace might leave it to Pantene Pro-V, the cougar goes exotic. That's what makes their prime hunting spot... the herbal soaps and shampoos area. She needs you little buckaroos to feel young, and you need your raw veggies and seeds to keep up your stamina. Rawr!