To find yourself a badass neighborhood bar, you need only employ the bar checklist: Ambiance, Bartender, Cocktails, Distraction (ABCD).

Good ambiance, check: The walls of Yak-Zies are covered with neatly arranged photos of local dogs (the late Missy was rumored to prefer Miller beer), Norman Rockwell prints, and humor posters — the Three Stooges get an entire wall to themselves. Nice bartenders, check: Don, who looks like a reject from a glam metal band, is a sweetheart who dishes up quick drinks and corny jokes ("This place is like aisle nine at Winn-Dixie — mixed nuts," he's fond of saying). Cheap cocktails, check: Two-for-one happy hours provide all the flowing liquor you could require. Distraction from your boring life, check: a charming waterfront view, fun locals, and frequent (and well-frequented) karaoke nights. Bonus: Check out the nudie pics in the bathrooms. If you use the happy hour (see "cheap cocktails") like you should, you'll be spending some time in there.