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Cover your stump before you hump. When in doubt, shroud your spout. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter. Wrap it in foil before you check her oil. Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener. House your noodle before releasing your strudel. Shelter your jerky, then nab that...
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MasterMinds 2014

1 year ago by New Times Staff
A stage visionary redefines the way South Florida sees theater. A thrift-shop connoisseur turns his love of collecting into an art career. A musician describes himself as "half Cuban Native Indian, half German Anunnaki wolf." You can say a lot of things about 2014's MasterMind Award finalists, but you can't...
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Steel Panther on Fashion: "Find, Like, Places Where Strippers Buy Their Clothes"

5 months ago by David Von Bader
When people talk about "heavy metal," they're really just talking about Steel Panther -- a band so imbued in the form, it may as well have invented it. The band that once crept from the Sunset Strip's gutters like some sort of mutant, spewing sequins, Aqua Net, and glitter with...
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Ten Movies to See in 2014

1 year ago by Calum Marsh
As awards season draws nearer and best-of-the-year lists keep rolling in, there's only one thing left to do: get excited about what comes next. Here are 10 films you won't want to miss in 2014. 1. Adieu au language (Directed by Jean-Luc Godard) Jean-Luc Godard, master of the French Nouvelle...
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Best Of Broward-Palm Beach 2014: Here Are Some of the Best Places To Shop

9 months ago by Chris Joseph
The latest edition of our annual Best of Broward-Palm Beach issue is up and live, and it is chock-full o' awesomeness. From the best dive bars to the best places to meet single men and ladies to the best local restaurants in town and even your readers' choice votes, it's...
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