The Florida Marlins' win-loss ratio is hovering around 50-50 -- but the team needs a little fire under its collective ass to make it to the postseason. Late August is when fans -- particularly white-knuckled fans of defending national champions -- offer to do anything that might bring the magic back to their team. On the Marlins' official message board, fans are floating lots of ideas: Let's post 20,000 messages! Let's bring a goat to the games! Let's tear off our clothes and streak! At least the Marlins' record is a little better than the Colorado Rockies'; that bodes well for the Fish's three-game series against the Rocks. Unless, of course, the mountain men incorporate some football moves -- like tackling -- as they did in a recent game against the Pirates, which featured an all-out dogpile on the mound. Rockies Manager Clint Hurdle blamed the fracas on the weather: "It's good, old-fashioned hardball in the heat of summer." Let's hope for hot temperatures, hot tempers, and hot bats -- or at least some naked people jumping on the field. Tonight's game at Pro Player Stadium (2267 Dan Marino Blvd., Miami) starts at 7:35; the Fish also play the Rockies on Saturday and Sunday. Call 305-623-6100, or visit www.flamarlins.com. --Deirdra Funcheon
Bowling for Puppies
Humane Society needs digs
SAT 8/28
Missy was found meowing in a car dealership's parts department. Jade was abandoned in a parking lot. Shadow is a lab who loves to run, and Patches is the coon hound who isn't so crazy about cats. When nobody else wanted these heartbreakers, the Florida Humane Society took them in. But in July, the shelter's building was sold and destroyed. Now, shelter residents are living foster-pet-style while the society raises money for a new building to be built on a donated piece of Deerfield Beach. To help out, go stick your paws into rented bowling shoes and play some ten pin. Bowling takes place at Don Carter's All-Star Lanes (21046 Commercial Trl., Boca Raton). Tickets cost $100 per team of four to six bowlers. Call 561-547-7171, or visit www.floridahumanesociety.org. --Dave Amber
