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Our Balls Are Oblong

Attention, husbands of South Florida: Keep a watchful eye on your wives because, this weekend, the Pro Bowlers will be pillaging. And we’re not talking about the Pro Bowlers Association. We’re talking about the Ochocinco name-changing, 40-year-old Brett Favre-playing, Sparano-wildcatting National Football League. So much manpower will be walking the streets that dudes less than 120 pounds are encouraged to stay home to avoid offending the swaggering brick houses. This Sunday at 7:30 p.m., the 2010 NFL Pro Bowl leaves Honolulu and heads to our glorious pantheon — Land Shark Stadium (2267 Dan Marino Blvd., Miami Gardens). Sadly, Jake Long, the Miami Dolphins’ star offensive tackle, will be representing the Fish from the sidelines due to injury. But we’ll still be able to watch Larry Fitzgerald, Tom Brady, Ed Reed, and 82 other football stars take their playoff woes out on the opposing players. Come watch touchdowns, pancakes, and game-changing hits in this preview of next week’s Super Bowl. Tickets cost $50 to $195. Call 800-745-3000, or visit
Sun., Jan. 31, 7:30 p.m., 2010


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