Remember When Witches Were Bitches?

The witch represents many archetypes in our culture. But somehow, over time, she has become increasingly good. At least, The Wizard of Oz has both a bad witch (traditionally, ugly and green) along with a good witch (pretty and blond). But then came Samantha of Bewitched and Sabrina the Teenage Witch — both were from completely separate, nonhuman universes — but still inherently good. Charmed and Practical Magic tops all this: Now witches are not only good but modern, young, and hot. Sigh. Once upon a time, the witch was something truly to be feared. She wasn’t comically scary, with a pointy hat and a wart on her hooked nose. No, she was horrifyingly evil. Sure, Hansel and Gretel seems like a cute tale, until you remember that the witch was a cannibal. Well, in Florida we have our very own legend of femme fatale horror, the Swamp Witch, an inhuman creature of terror who feeds on men’s bodies and souls! And where is her lair, you ask? Conveniently, it is located in the West Arboretum in Flamingo Gardens at 3750 S. Flamingo Road in Davie. Due to mystical forces, the Lair of the Swamp Witch is visible only from 7 to 9 p.m. this Friday and Saturday and again October 29 and 30. Those who wish to risk the swampy dangers can do so for $5 admission. Children under 12 (and their little dogs too) are especially likely to be eaten and should be left at home. For more information, dig out your old Ouija board, call 954-473-2955, or visit flamingogardens.org.
Fri., Oct. 22, 7 p.m.; Sat., Oct. 23, 7 p.m.; Fri., Oct. 29, 7 p.m.; Sat., Oct. 30, 7 p.m., 2010