Never trust anybody who doesnt like dogs but be even more leery of dopes that say theyre better than people. Sure, theyre your best friend and all, provide unconditional love and whatnot, but theyll as soon take a dump in your living room as lick themselves inappropriately in front of company. Like any relationship, its a mixed bag. Dogs can be the ultimate bitches. Which makes watching the amazing feats of properly trained mutts at the Incredible Dogs show at Bicentennial Park (1075 Biscayne Blvd., Miami) that much harder to take in when you get back home and find that Milo has gotten into a marshmallow bag again and made his own brand of smores all over the dining room.
Well, at least Incredible Dogs will show you what could have happened if you had landed a proper dog. It features 38 dogs and 25 trainers under a 40,000-square-foot big top. Thats a whole lotta space, and the pooches make good use of it as they perform stunts like Frisbee, dog diving, and runs through obstacles courses. Among other acts, the show features Julio, an English Bulldog (shouldnt that be Jules or something?) that specializes in extreme skateboarding and mathematical equations, and Bella and Grit, Frisbee world champs. There will also be celebrity acts with dogs that have starred in Disneys Life Is Ruff and Water for Elephants.
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They say 50 percent of the show dogs are rescued, and a portion of ticket sales will go to the Humane Society. Oh, and if you get suckered into believing you can also have a well-behaved dog someday, there will also be on-site adoptions. Incredible Dogs opens Wednesday at 7:30 p.m. at Bicentennial Park and runs through Sunday, with multiple showings on the weekend days. Tickets cost $30 to $65. Visit incredibledogs.com.
Wed., Sept. 28, 7:30 p.m., 2011