Satriani vs. Malmsteen: The Deathmatch
Good news, rock fans! This week, South Florida will be graced by the presence of not one, but two guitar gods: Mr. Joe "Satch" Satriani and Yngwie "Don't Call Me Yngwie" Malmsteen. Naturally, you're going to want to see both epic axe grinders as they speed across their fret boards faster than a college kid watching scrambled porn. But if you cant swing both shows, use our handy guide to determine which ticket deserves your hard-earned cash. Award yourself 4 points for answer A, 1 point for B, and -2 points for C
1) The most critical component of hair metal is ... A: Wicked arpeggios, mastery of the whammy bar, sweet tapping. B: All that, plus actually having hair. C: One word: pyrotechnics.
2) The only brand of guitar I would dream of playing is ... A: Ibanez, the true metal choice. B: Fender; I'm a traditionalist. C: The one I attach to my Xbox 360.
3) If I could ride one fictional item it would be ... A: An inter-dimensional surfboard. B: A three-headed dragon. C: A girl who thinks Im cool.
4) Other than guitar rock, my favorite type of music is ... A: Jazz-fusion, baby! B: Classical. Bach is so my homeboy. C: Anything I can get my swole on to.
You scored 10-16 points: You simply must check out Joe Satriani, playing tonight at 8 at the Fillmore Miami Beach (1700 Washington Ave.) and Saturday at 8 p.m. at the Kravis Center (701 Okeechobee Blvd., West Palm Beach). You scored 4-9 points: Catch Yngwie when he rocks the Culture Room, Friday at 8 p.m. (3045 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale). Less than 3 points: Consider a new hobby. Tickets start at $25. Visit ticketmaster.com.
Thu., Oct. 30, 2008
Get the Events Newsletter
What's happening in town? From underground club nights to the biggest outdoor festivals, our top picks for the week's best events will always keep you in on the action.