Christmas? Is it a load of bullshit thinking you must celebrate it? Did we not spend all of December hunting down the right gifts for the right people, humming along to the Christmas tunes, and eating all the holiday cookies? We ate every single baked good placed in front of us, and -- what happened? -- no one even bought us a bigger-sized pair of jeans. We embraced the effin' holiday, OK? If we do any more Christmas stuff now, we'll just get pissed off. So we're gonna go with another tradition today, something that has become as much of a staple as celebrating the Yuletide. We're joining the masses who refuse to sit around a turkey exulting the birthing of baby Jesus. Let's go to the movies and eat Chinese food.
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We could head for a place that serves shark's fin soup. Even the fried rice is good at Silver Pond (4285 N. State Road 7, Lauderhill). But we say go big: Try the baked, salted lobster; the stir-fried fresh crab in its shell; or the whole Peking duck for two -- you don't even have to order that in advance. Call 954-486-8885.
Calling all gluttons: Takeout and delivery are available at Bamboo Garden III (10041 Pines Blvd., Hollywood). Here, we say you grub on the kung pao frog's legs, the steamed whole flounder, or the beef tripe with preserved mustard greens. (Ask for the small "Chinese" menu to show how unique your cravings are.) Call 954-433-3939.
We have said that the chefs at China Dumpling (1899 N. Congress Ave., Boynton Beach) "have a way with wheat" -- and we say things because we absolutely mean them. Delicacies are found from provinces Canton to Szechuan, but Peking is where it's all at. Go ahead, order for your taste buds: They'll enjoy the steamed pork dumplings, noodle dishes like sesame cold noodle, or beef chow fun with black-bean sauce. Call 561-737-2782.
Head on over to our film section for full reviews on the flicks opening this week: Go with Girl With a Dragon Tattoo if you like the types of books Oprah endorses. Sleeping Beauty really didn't do anything for us, but it might be for you if you like tales about girls who'll do anything for money (note: This girl is in school). Or watch The Artist, if you've got a thing for 1920s-era Hollywood.
Sun., Dec. 25, 2011