Osama bin Laden has been found! And he's been hanging out with Katherine Harris! All right, so they're only actors and they don't even look that much like their subjects, but that's part of what makes The News in Revue so damned funny. The Connecticut-based "troupe of singing satirists" has been poking and prodding political figures for the past 14 years. Its current run in Hollywood is full of fresh spoofs involving everyone from Mel Gibson and Michael Moore to John Kerry and Barbara Bush (the grayer, sober Barbara, that is). It's the political party to end all political parties -- or at least create a few laughs at their expense. Turn on the news tonight at 8. The show runs through March 13 at the Hollywood Playhouse (2640 Washington St., Hollywood). Tickets cost $17.50 to $35. Call 954-922-0404. (JB)
If you thought you had to truck all the way to South Beach to confuse psychedelic trance, Goa trance, and drum 'n' bass... you don't! Save that gas money and buy yourself a copy of The Hipster's Guide to the Universe. Tonight, you need only hit Club XIT (219 N. 21st Ave., Hollywood) for the Euphoria Project's third installation of its "Temptation" party. Five live electronic acts perform, and 40 peeps are going to take turns spinning records. Among those scheduled to appear: Mr. Mendez (d 'n' b), Danny Bled (also d 'n' b), DJ Steel (breaks/trance), Magnus (hard house), and Cryotron (electro/breaks). If you don't know the difference between the genres, keep your mouth shut and dance, muthafucka! The 18-plus party starts at 9 p.m. and ends at 6 a.m. God bless our state's free-flowin' liquor laws! Call 954-822-2043, or visit www.euphoriaproject.org. (DF)
If you like a little Cornel West with your Mike West or you groove on talking with a real professor while you listen to Large Professor, then zip up your bookbag and hustle down to the hip-hop symposium in room 101 of the Performing Arts Center at Florida Atlantic University (777 Glades Rd., Boca Raton). John Alexander, who teaches a class in hip-hop at the University of Virginia, has said he acknowledges that "writing a paper about hip-hop is oxymoronic, given its kinetic, vibrant, dynamic aesthetic." But it's always fun to spend seven hours pondering the meaning of lyrics like, "cash rules everything around me/cream/get the money/dollar dollar bill, y'all." The symposium lasts from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Call 561-297-3920. (DF)
The folks at the Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival have an excellent theory: If you can't be at the A-list party, party anyway, and make fun of people at the A-list party! Yes -- it's Oscar time. That means time to dress up, play fashion police, and break out your best Joan Rivers imitation while watching the Academy Awards projected on a big screen. FLIFF has arranged high-brow, middle-brow, and low-brow celebrations to accommodate wallets of all shapes and sizes. The Academy Awards gala at the Hyatt Regency Pier 66 (2301 SE 17th St. Cswy., Fort Lauderdale) costs $150. For just $75, there's an Oscar Party at the Broken Sound Country Club (2401 Willow Springs Dr., Boca Raton). That event begins at 6:30 p.m. and includes dinner, a cash bar, and a big-screen telecast of the Oscars. Those of you who are content to nurse a bottle of Budweiser, head to the bar at the lovely Cinema Paradiso (503 SE Sixth St., Fort Lauderdale) and settle into one of its comfy velvet chairs. That party starts at 7 p.m. and costs $15. Call 954-525-FILM, or visit www.fliff.com. (DF)
Most people don't enjoy getting the finger. It's just, you know, sort of rude. But if you're rock 'n' roll photographer Jim Marshall and that finger is attached to the legendary Johnny Cash, all you can think is, "Great shot -- let it fly!" Opening this week at the Palm Beach Photographic Center (55 NE Second Ave., Delray Beach), Marshall's "Famous Musicians" exhibit is an assortment of similarly up-close and personal images of rock stars being candid, getting down to the music, and existing in that special world-within-a-world known only to them (and other drug-addled and/or egocentric celebrities). Just name a name -- Jimi, Janis, Mick, Miles -- and Marshall most likely has spent time snapping shots of said musician for a magazine, publicity firm, or record cover. He has become an industry icon in his own right, even if we can't see him. "Famous Musicians" runs through April 2. Call 561-276-9797. (JB)
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As the National Enquirer packs its bags for the Big Apple, the world can only wait in quiet anticipation for the answer to the obvious question this poses: Which celebrities have the most cellulite? Fortunately for former Executive Editor Iain Calder, he has bigger things to think about -- like how many such questions he'll be asked during today's appearance at Lynn University (3601 N. Military Trl., Boca Raton), where Calder signs his book The Untold Story: My 20 Years Running the National Enquirer. Though he left the position in 1995, Calder managed to compile quite a few memorable anecdotes during his tenure, and they include a pissed-off Roseanne Barr, a dead Judy Garland, and Calder's boss and mentor Gene Pope, who cracked the whip to ensure that only the deepest dirt was dug for his stories. Maybe he knows the scoop on Brad and Jen -- is it really over? Ask him yourself at 5:30 p.m. Call 561-237-7798. (JB)
The original crypt-keeper is back, and we're not talking about that giggly bag of bones on Tales from the Crypt. Hell, no. This guy's got a microphone. And a band -- Cryptopsy. Sure enough, after leaving the group in 1997 for foamier pastures (i.e., a job at a beer company), vocalist Lord Worm is back at the helm for this year's Back to the Worm Tour. While Worm is Cryptopsy's fourth singer (including himself), the music hasn't changed much at all; it's still the same thesaurus-inspired death metal that cranked out such gems as "Serial Messiah," which has some of the most poetic lyrics in death metal to date ("I just want to hold your pretty hand/The rest of you can be dissolved in acid"). Only the Worm can crawl from high-pitched shriek to bellowing bark in .0666 seconds. Cryptopsy performs tonight with Cattle Decapitation and Autumn Offering at the Culture Room (3045 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale). The show starts at 7:30 p.m. Tickets cost $13 to $15. Call 954-564-1074. (JB)