Jon Bon Jovi and the Kings of Suburbia on July 26 at Hard Rock Live

The looming threat of Texas seceding from the rest of America lingers like a fat man's fart in an elevator. But while it'd be sad to see the Lone Star State go, it wouldn't be nearly as detrimental as New Jersey breaking off and becoming a sovereign state. If that...

By Victor Gonzalez

July 26, 2012

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The looming threat of Texas seceding from the rest of America lingers like a fat man's fart in an elevator. But while it'd be sad to see the Lone Star State go, it wouldn't be nearly as detrimental as New Jersey breaking off and becoming a sovereign state. If that were to happen, the country would lose several acres of asparagus, the butt of countless jokes, and Jon Bon Jovi's elegantly feathered hairdo. And quite frankly, a life without those things isn't worth living. Few men are as comfortable in a hair salon as John Francis Bongiovi Jr. His locks are as iconic as Farrah Fawcett's, barely changed since the 1980s, when his arena-rock group ruled the American radio airwaves. And thanks to good looks as well as America's collective love of pop-rock, Bongiovi's managed to stay relevant in an ever-changing musical landscape. But after years of fronting one of New Jersey's most recognizable groups, Jon is finally making his solo debut with a nationwide tour this summer. Is this the end of Bon Jovi the band? Do Jon and Jersey plan to secede from the Union? Probably not. But go find out this Thursday at Hard Rock Live.

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