No matter how bad Americans are at geography, there's one shape in the Union everyone can pick out when handed a blank map. That's Florida.
The uniqueness of the Sunshine State extends beyond the configuration of its borders. There are just certain Floridian qualities that capture the world's imagination -- usually pretty grimy, but oftentimes just plain tacky.
To celebrate the passing of another year of sweating through T-shirts and entertaining out-of-towners with mojitos, we present the ten most Florida concerts of 2014.
Drone films Tortuga Music Festival 2014 on Fort Lauderdale Beach from Eagle Eye: Aerial Filmworks on Vimeo.
10. Tortuga Music Festival
April 12 - 13, 2014
Fort Lauderdale Beach Park
With 1,350 miles of shoreline, only Alaska has more coast to party on than Florida. But even with all that beach on our hands, besides a few drum circles, not that much music is played by the ocean.
Tortuga Music Festival, which raises money for marine conservation, is one of the few concerts that takes advantage of our Atlantic-side views. And it does it total Florida style.
There's some reggae, with acts like Ziggy Marley, but mostly, the focus is on the twang. It's a total country concert, and that's demonstrated by the peoples' fashions. Folks wearing cowboy hats and boots on the hot sands of Fort Lauderdale Beach, it's a wild time with plenty of blondes, boobs, and Confederate flags in plain view.
See also: Tortuga Music Festival Announces 2015 Dates
9. SunFest
April 30 - May 4, 2014
Downtown West Palm Beach
Given that the sun is always shining bright, even when the rain's falling, naming a massive five-day outdoor festival SunFest in downtown West Palm, seems appropriate.
The best, most Florida thing about this long-running outdoor affair though is the acts that perform. They always give local musicians a chance to share the stage with legends like Smashing Pumpkins or Jimmy Cliff. This past year, local aspiring Justin Bieber Austin Mahone even broke out some dance moves on the SunFest stage to the tween screams of a packed lawn.
See also: Five Reasons SunFest Is Unusual, in a Good Way
8. Lionel Richie
July 15, 2014
Cruzan Amphitheatre, West Palm Beach
While the state animal is the Florida panther, there's another wildcat Florida is famous for: the cougar.
On a summer night this past year, Lionel Richie filled Cruzan Amphitheatre with a ferocious pack of snarling cougars. They spent the night dancing "All Night Long," purring to "She's A Brick House," and willing to eat alive any young male cub that asked, "Hello, is it me you're looking for?"
See also: Lionel Richie & CeeLo Green - Cruzan Amphitheatre, West Palm Beach - July 15
7. Enrique Iglesias & Pitbull
October 25, 2014
Hard Rock Live, Hollywood
While people outside of Florida might think all Spanish speaking folks are the same, Floridians know Latin cultures are extremely diverse.
Two music superstars with very different Miami backgrounds, Pitbull and Enrique Iglesias, played Hard Rock Live together in 2014. Iglesias grew up the son of music royalty, graduating from the University of Miami before dominating the Spanish song charts. Pitbull meanwhile grew up in Miami the son of Cuban immigrant parents, introducing Spanglish to the mainstream. Thanks to him, dalé no longer is read Dale anywhere where there's a radio.
6. Ringo Starr & His All Starr Band
October 21, 2014
Broward Center for Performing Arts, Fort Lauderdale
Florida has long been known as the place where your grandparents went to retire. But now a new generation has hit retirement age: The Baby Boomers.
They're now cashing in their social security checks while maintaining their love of rock and roll. That's why this year, we caught Ringo Starr strutting his post-Beatles stuff with an All Starr band at a ritzy establishment like the Broward Center.
5. Respectable Street Anniversary Party
October 4, 2014
Respectable Street Café, West Palm Beach
Florida has long been the fourth most populous state in the country and is on pace to pass New York as number three in the near future. With all these people around and sweating in the never waning summer sun, when a veteran venue in this large state puts on a fiesta, expect it to be large.
Respectable Street is a South Florida landmark. Any music lover who's visited Palm Beach County knows its the place for live music on Clematis. This year, the club went all out for its 27th anniversary party. It brought 27 acts to three stages, including everything from bluegrass to trip-hop to straight up rock and roll.
See also: Respectable Street Cafe's Anniversary Party Showcased Renovations and 27 Bands
4. American Idol Live! Tour
July 19, 2014
Broward Center for Performing Arts, Fort Lauderdale
While most show biz parents steer their kids toward the bright lights of Hollywood, California, Florida has its own subculture of aspiring child stars. Yes, we're the state that birthed the careers of Ariana Grande, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and Christina Aguilera, among many famous others.
July's American Idol Live! concert brought out the finalists from the previous season (all but one appeared at Broward Center). They gave the gift that keeps on giving, inspiration to all of our child diva. They're the role models our creepy kid singers can look up to and step over on their climb to fame.
See also: American Idol Live! Tour: Not a Perfect Ten, but Close Enough
3. Jimmy Buffett
April 26, 2014
Cruzan Amphitheatre, West Palm Beach
Which statement is more correct: Jimmy Buffett is Florida or Florida is Jimmy Buffett?
See also: Ten Jimmy Buffett Parrothead Fashion Essentials
2. Against Me!
January 26, 2014
Culture Room, Fort Lauderdale
While Florida doesn't get much publicity for being open-minded, this punk concert in January proved the state is more liberal than it gets credit for.
Gainesville's own Against Me! is fronted by Laura Jane Grace, a transgendered star who was in no way heckled or belittled at the band's jam packed show this past January. She was instead celebrated and accepted for providing blistering rock and a near perfect concert experience to all.
See also: Review of Against Me! at Culture Room, Fort Lauderdale on January 26
1. Jay Z & Beyonce
June 25, 2014
Sun Life Stadium, Miami Gardens
Nobody does decadence like either the state of Florida or this power couple.
The forces of luxury collided with the eternal heat with their On the Run tour this past summer. Like just about every other multimillionaire family, the duo has a residence in Florida in order to take advantage of the lack of state income tax and those thousands of miles of year round swimmable beaches we mentioned earlier.
We Floridians, Jay and Bey all do excess right.
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