Navigation

Jeb Bush Speaks in Texas Today; Should He Change His Name?

Jeb! Bush is speaking in Texas on Wednesday. Hillary Clinton is also slated to speak in Texas on Wednesday at a different event. Also in Texas on Wednesday: 2016 Presidential Hopeful Speculation!...
Share this:

Jeb! Bush is speaking in Texas on Wednesday.

Hillary Clinton is also slated to speak in Texas on Wednesday at a different event.

Also in Texas on Wednesday: 2016 Presidential Hopeful Speculation!

Both Hillary and Jeb! are expected to attend George W. Bush's Presidential Center on Thursday, but not before giving two separate speeches and make the media go bananas with 2016 Road to the White House talk.

For his part, Jeb! is slated to speak at a luncheon at the Rosewood Crescent where the ridiculously long titled "Restoring America's Promise: The Leadership Required and the Policy Changes That Are Needed" is being held.

And while he remains a top contender for the GOP nomination for 2016 and not only has the credentials and the temperament, he unfortunately has that name.

BUSH.

With the Republican Party trying desperately to reinvent itself by putting forth candidates with the same old talking points and harmful agendas that put the party in the shitter in the first place, Jeb! seems like just the guy to turn things around. He doesn't kowtow to members of the extreme right wacko fringe or Tea Party numbnuttery. And he seems to have the smarts to pull off the makeover.

But again. He's a Bush. Which probably means he's screwed.

Bush Fatigue is a thing, and little brother and his presidential dreams might feel the full brunt of it.

Former GOP Chairman Haley Barbour agrees that Jeb's résumé is all there. If only he was named something other than Bush.

"Jeb is an outstanding candidate," Barbour told Politico. "If you looked at his time in Florida, he was extremely popular personally, and his policies were extremely popular, and he took on some of the hard stuff... But I would put it this way -- if Jeb's last name was Brown instead of Bush, he'd probably be the frontrunner for the Republican nomination."

So there you have it.

As Jeb! prepares to make his speech on Wednesday and then appear at Big Bro's library on Thursday, all in a somewhat veiled attempt to put his name back into the national headlights, he might want to consider changing his name to Jeb Brown.

Or maybe buying himself a fake mustache and adapting a Cajun accent.

"Ay der padnah, I'ma Jeb Brown and I wan be yo gran beede presodaynt of dis 'ere You-nited Stay. I fight wit dem Caimon and lower deh taxes, I garoowntee!" he'd probably say in his speech announcing his presidency.

Follow Chris Joseph on Twitter



KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.