One way to change your child's opinion of produce is to subject him or her to The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A Veggie Tales Movie, which makes the prospect of scarfing down a plateful of unseasoned Brussels sprouts seem enticing by comparison. From the present to "somewhere in the 17th century," three vegetables of vaguely determinate type but obvious racial identity arrive to save a royal family from a group of pirates. All sorts of nonsense is accomplished with the aid of the golden compass, err, the help seeker, a gizmo that allows a cucumber, a gourd, and a grape all fruit, incidentally to play heroes in the past so as to boost their egos in the present. Humorless, incoherent, and ugly as sin, director Mike Nawrocki's Christian-friendly production is as tragic as the candle wax that resembles a glob of man jam and opens Pa Grape's eyes to the meaning of his adventure.
Mike NawrockiMike Nawrocki, Phil Vischer, Tim Hodge, Colleen Curtis, Megan MurphyPhil VischerPaula Marcus, David Pitts, Phil Vischer, Mike NawrockiUniversal Pictures