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10 Essential Spring Break Fashions

A red Solo cup can be a fashion statement. Keep reading.
A red Solo cup can be a fashion statement. Keep reading.
Logan Fazio

You've been working that treadmill for months and going hard with all those WODs, because for one week in the middle of winter, your body flesh can experience the warmth of the South Florida sun. That wonderful week is called Spring Break.

And because this is such a significant moment in your young lives, you want to be prepared to fit in on the sand. So, as locals, we've put together a helpful guide to the 10 essential Spring Break fashions you should recognize before stepping foot on a plane or jumping in those salty 75 degree waves.

Not quite a beer helmet, but close enough.
Not quite a beer helmet, but close enough.
Logan Fazio

10. Beer helmet

There is nothing more Spring Break than a beer helmet. It's got that stylish appeal that says: "Suck on me."

Strap on two cans of your favorite shitty brew, and suddenly those beers look pretty high class. The two straws ensure an instant buzz and possibly a really fun, and definitely messy, night.

Sneakers in cooler, flip-flops on feet.
Sneakers in cooler, flip-flops on feet.
Logan Fazio

9. Havaianas or Crocs

Strip off those ugly Uggs, then get your nasty toenails buffed and polished for a rough and tumble week in the sand. You have two options for your paws: 1. Havaianas if you want to get laid, and 2. Crocs if you don't. Choose wisely.

10 Essential Spring Break Fashions
Logan Fazio

8. Sports paraphernalia

You gotta let the others know you love to watch other people get sweaty and win at team sports. Not sure why, but it's really important. Also, proudly wearing "your" team's emblem is a simple way to rep your city or school. So bust out that Pats snapback and strap on those minuscule shorts with "FSU" on the ass and then represent.

 

10 Essential Spring Break Fashions
Logan Fazio

7. Tiny bikini for girls, short shorts for guys

Speaking of shorts, the metro-millennials tend to pass over board shorts for actual short shorts. If your body is banging, but on a Speedo. It will be you who laughs last when the girls can't stop eyeing that extra package you brought on vacation.

And for the ladies, leave your body issues at home. No one cares during Spring Break. Everyone is out for some fun, so tie on a skimpy bikini and get to work on wiling out.

6. Pinch hitter lanyard

This is for the adventurous Spring Breaker. A man or woman who knows what they want, and what they want is to smoke some pot. Get a lanyard and add a pinch hitter, and it's possible you will be the most popular person on the sand.

It'll look something like this.
It'll look something like this.
Logan Fazio

5. Towel with image of woman in bikini on it

Because this is Spring Break. Everyone's booty will automatically be attracted to your retro towel that screams: trashy fashion. It's totally good. Start Googling now.

10 Essential Spring Break Fashions
Ian Witlen

4. T-shirt with neon lettering and something filthy on it

You need a neon tank top or a black T-shirt that says something like "YOLO" on it. Sure, we know YOLO is very 2012, but the sunburnt Spring Breakers from Kentucky may not. Scope out the stores on A1A when you first arrive, and find the "I'm in Fort Lauderdale, Bitch" shirt that just says "you."

 

10 Essential Spring Break Fashions
Logan Fazio

3. Super cool Ray Ban or aviator shades

These are what you wear on the beach. But if you're really cool, you'll wear those up there.

The one on the left gets it.
The one on the left gets it.
Alex Markow

2. So very short cut-off jean shorts (man or woman)

This is to cover up your ass when heading to the Elbo Room to dance to "Sweet Home Alabama" and take shots off some guy's pecs. That goes for both men and women. Top button must remain undone.

10 Essential Spring Break Fashions
Logan Fazio

1. Anything Fat Tuesday or a red Solo cup

Most importantly, look like you're having a good time, and eventually you will! The best Spring Break fashion tip is to drink smartly and hydrate. It will ensure a puke-free ensemble. A Fat Tuesday or red Solo cup also say: "I'm drunk, and I'm fun." Make sure to have one in hand at all times.

Enjoy your Spring Break, and wear some SPF!

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