Anthony Bourdain, Andrew Zimmern, Giada, and Other TV Food Personalities' Imagined Musical Predilections
With our recent acquisition of a magic crystal ball, our blogging here at County Grind has taken a decidedly fantastical turn! We've also made a number of astonishing other discoveries lately. It was revealed that we have a disproportionate number of musician friends who ply their trades in kitchens, restaurants, and catering companies.
In light of this new information, it seems only natural that those in the business who've managed to break into the ranks of daily television might have a musical bent as well. So, while pondering over the lives some of our favorite TV food personalities, we made some not-so-educated guesses as to their musical predilections.
Alton Brown's a whole bunch of things when it comes to televised cookery; Good Eats, Iron Chef America, the Welch's bobble-head, etc... But the one thing we can all agree on is that he is the geekiest of the bunch and, as such, has a tendency toward math rock and cool late-'80s/early-'90s college radio. Did you know he worked on an R.E.M. video? Figures.
Weezer - "Hash Pipe"
Guy Fieri/Adam Richman
These two dudes are tied based on the scientific anomaly of my grandmother calling them both "the fat guy" and meaning only one of them.
She can't tell them apart even though I have very patiently tried to explain to her that they are (a) not the same person, (b) exist on different networks, (c) have different styles, (d) one's mouth is a constant source of aural misery and the other's a source of constant cramming, and (e) one wears flip-flops in kitchens (which I'm sure is a big no-no) and the other jackets regardless of weather.
Hawkwind - "Motörhead"
Giada De Laurentiis
This tiny Italian dynamo is the reason why I buy Barilla pasta products exclusively. Or rather, her low-cut blouses are the reason. I was watching one of her afternoon shows about a year ago, and the lady friend that I was with was all in a jealous fit 'cause I kept shushing her. Finally, she broke out with the following: "She's a bird-faced bitch, and you're only watching because of her cleavage!" Hate to admit it, but she was right. A week later, Giada did some outdoors picnic thing that involved a turtleneck and I lost interest.
She's a band you love during a certain period of your life, and one day, inexplicably, the feeling's gone and you're not sure if you're the better for it. It's the old Airplane versus Starship argument.
Jefferson Airplane - "Somebody to Love"
We admit the same kind of morbid, driving-slowly-by-an-accident fascination with Zimmern's bizarreness. What else can you expect from a guy who's been involved in the food business since his teens, was a homeless drug addict, and now sports fishing gear appropriated from the Bass Pro Shop? This is a man who continually exalts the yumminess of "Poopy, but in a good way!" And then goes home and acts normal around the wife. You know he's got a weird bent.
KutMasta Kurt (ft. Del the Funky Homosapien) - "Size Double D"
Sandre Lee's Semi-Homemade Cooking show is one of the most quietly polarizing in TV food history. Is she an angel or a devil? Is she really sweet, or is she pure acid? Here's the infamous "Kwanzaa Cake Incident"; you be the judge. We only know that she wants to save you time, not necessarily some calories. In the meantime, both of these can be found in her record collection.
Charlotte Church - "Ave Maria"
NoMeansNo - "Angel or Devil"
Bourdain's one of our favorites, there's no denying or hiding it. He's the only one of these folks who wears (or at least wore) the T-shirts of the bands he likes. He's the Jim Jarmusch of the TV food world, always trusty to have a Ramones shirt on hand. But Tony's a world lounger now and as such has traded the jeans and sleeveless punk-rock T's for blazers and linen shirts. Oh, well, we still like him.
Johnny Thunders & The Heartbreakers - "Chinese Rocks"
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