The 20-year-old Southern rock wrecking ball called Antiseen is one of America's longest-standing punk rock bands. Its crowd-bashing, whisky-guzzling lead singer, Jeff Clayton, is a man you'd run from in a dark alley (or even a well-lit bar). Arguably even more intimidating is the fact that Clayton filled in as lead psycho for the Murder Junkies after GG Allin's heroin overdose. But get a little closer and the guy is a teddy bear -- albeit a long-haired, evil-smelling, blood-covered one -- who practices self-surgery and just wants to hang with his kids.
Q: Any professional cutter knows head wounds bleed easiest, but have you ever used fake blood?
A: Fake blood? No! If you get within five feet of me, you'll see my roadmap forehead.
Antiseen, along with King Coleman, Blowfly, Sound4Sound, UFC, and Sick of Society
Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami.
9 p.m. Saturday, February 26. Tickets cost $10. Call 305-757-1807.
Q: What's your worst stage-related wound?
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A: I used to have to go get stitches; the most I ever got was 14. But I stopped getting them stitched up after a while 'cause we kind of learned how to close 'em up ourselves.
Q: Oh, no. Duct tape?
A: If it's real bad, super glue, but most of the time, just medical tape. But now I gotta hit it pretty hard to make it do anything.
Q: What's the worst injury to a fan?
A: Oh, a bunch of those. This guy in Cleveland -- I was doing one of those songs in the set where I play a washboard, and I was holding it with one hand and playing it wid deh udder -- oops, I'm having trouble with th words; I just got a toot pulled today. These kids were huddled together in a mosh pit and they knocked the microphone right into my mouth. It hit me really hard. So I took that microphone stand and threw it towards them like a spear. This guy was running around, and the stand clocked him right in the face. Years later, I met one of his friends, and he said the guy thought it was the coolest thing ever.
Q: Got any good cop stories?
A: We always get along with the cops, but one time when we were first together, like in '83... Hang on a sec. [Calls to his kids] Jeffrey no, no! I know, but you can't play with that. Sorry, I had to do a little parenting there. Back then, we used crude pyrotechnics, and someone called the cops and said we had a firearm and started shooting into the crowd. We said, "Firearms? No, we were just using some crappy fireworks." But they weren't convinced, so they escorted us all the way out of Knoxville.
Q: As an Antiseen man, what's one scene you're glad never lasted?
A: That whole straight-edge thing bothered me. But anything that's uniform -- why can't you be the way you want to be? How come some big burly guy can't listen to the Cure?
Q: Are you making a confession?
A: Yeah, I like the Cure.
Q: So Antiseen and Blowfly -- a match made in heaven?
A: It's a match made in hell, and I can't wait to do it.
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