To quell the pain besieging fellow employees at the New Times Broward Palm Beach, we announce with pleasure that Randy Moss will not be suiting up in a Dolphins uniform. The past couple of days yielded some serious digs (not Diggs, however) against Moss, a former Viking-Raider-Patriot-Viking who apparently spends his offseason time in Fort Lauderdale.
Our food writer invented a Top Five Restaurants Even Randy Moss Wouldn't Snub list and an enterprising Juice blogger rattled off Five Reasons the Dolphins Should NOT Go After Randy Moss in less time than it takes to run over a parking attendant.
Moss has an unlikely fanhood growing among hippie rap collective Arrested Development now that he's expected to suit up as a Tennessee Titan, however.
According to TMZ.com, the group (actually from Atlanta) that has lately been usurped by Gob Bluth in terms of cultural currency decided to take its best-known hit and welcome the erratic wide receiver.
With the backing beat to "Tennessee," frontman Speech raps:
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What's up Randy Moss? Arrested Development welcomes you to Tennessee where "we are still thirsty" for a Super Bowl win. No Brady, no Favre, no problem... If there are any, we know you, Vince Young, & CJ can solve them. Take Tennessee to the Super Bowl Land! Go Titans!
Based upon his alleged blow-up involving a Minnesota Vikings team caterer, might we add that Moss should listen to "Mr. Wendal" as well just to chill him out.
Unfortunately, the audio for AD's "Tennessee" welcome isn't available yet. We'll let you fill it in below: