Battle of the Decade-Themed Dances: Kurt Cobain Versus Duckie This Sunday Night

You have a very important decision to make this Sunday night before Memorial Day. You could either attend "Respectable Street's 5th Ever Cheesy '80s Prom" or  "Spring Fling '90s Homecoming" at the Vagabond. Both events are sure to leave you gooey-eyed and hormonal, so which one to choose?! Duckie on the dance floor or Kurt Cobain sipping a beer by the bar?

How would even Kurt Cobain convince Duckie to be his wingman at the '90s Homecoming? 


Kurt: Duckie, why do you even want to attend the prom? First up, high school? That place blew. And going for Andie?

Duckie: Andie's life will be ruined if she doesn't go,

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and I must meet her in the hallway beforehand. You know, prom is the defining moment in hers and my life - I can feel the

electricity in the air. Maybe there...

K: Dude, you know you aren't going to get that girl. Yeah, it sucks, but man, all the girls from 90210 are horny -- and they're all be at the spring fling.

D: But I go crazy for poofy dresses and crimped hair.

K: Blossom wears those stupid hats, and she, ha, likes attention. Don't get me started on how Mia Wallace can blow...

D: Uhhhh, that flannel and grease look, Kurt? Not looking good, my friend. Imagine what you could look like once I shined you up a bit.

K: You got some awesome shoes. Let me tell you about a type of music where you can really appreciate those white kicks and it's not called shoegazing.

D: Have. You. Seen me dance? I mean I need to be where the good jams are.

Our dance music is way better than, look at this, in the same decade you guys had "Firestarter" and "Ice, Ice Baby."

K: Both decades had drugs. You got me there.

D: I could really bop to "Smells like Teen Spirit," but as I hear, Miamians don't really dance. They just stand by the bar. And I've mentioned Andie, right? Who is the Homecoming Queen, anyways? Ugh, you'd get Prom and Homecoming King [spits and storms out].

Respectable Street's 5th Ever Cheesy '80s Prom is free and runs from 9 p.m. to 4 a.m. Sunday at Respectable Street (518 Clematis St., West Palm Beach.) Call 561-832-9999, or visit respectablestreet.com

The Vagabond's Spring Fling '90s Homecoming starts at 10 p.m. Sunday at Vagabond (30

NE 14th St., Miami). Tickets cost $10. Call 305-379-0508, or visit

thevagabondmiami.com


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