December 27, 2012 | 8:49am
The things that make up a "best" concert aren't the good things. Those you don't remember. It's the crazy shit; like when I fell twice in a filthy mosh pit at a Black Lips show and couldn't get back up on my own, or when, this past spring, David Lee Roth threw a total '80s diva shit-fit on stage at the BankAtlantic (now BB&T) Center.
The crowd sucked. And sometimes a crowd will make or break a show, but not when Eddie Van Halen and Roth are performing. Then it's like there is no crowd, there's just you, Eddie's fingers moving like butter on a roll, his radiant, mischievous smile, Roth's glittering ensembles and his screams at a stagehand.
I went to the cold theater alone, spent like $40 on a hot dog, got sexually harassed by 14-year olds (best audience members, btw), and it was the best concert I went to in 2012. When it became clear that David Lee Roth was shitfaced, I was tickled, though a little nervous. But when he started yelling at the crew, fuck this and fuck that, oh man, I knew this was the show I wanted to be watching. I felt terrible for the guy who bore the brunt of his "fuck"s, but in my honest opinion, it's an honor to be screamed at by such a fascinating phoenix such as Diamond Dave.