Coldplay vs. Gwyneth Paltrow
Chris Martin: Not content to be just a critical success, the band has also sold more than 40 million albums worldwide. While this is nothing compared to fellow Brit arena gods U2's 140 million, it ain't exactly something to turn your nose up at either.
Gwyneth Paltrow: Paltrow won a Best Actress Oscar in 1999 for her role in Shakespeare in Love. Since then, almost nothing but frightening critical and commercial duds.
Winner: Martin sits at the head of this table. That's what happens when you're one of the most popular musicians in the world and your wife only played a super-hero sidekick with ten lines.
Seal vs. Heidi Klum
Seal: Seal can't exactly be called a one-hit wonder, but we dare you to name a hit other than his Grammy-award-winning "Kiss from a Rose."
Heidi Klum: Aside from being one of the world's most famous supermodels and, at 35 with three kids, still a Victoria's Secret model, Klum is the host of "Project Runway." Her tagline, "You're either in, or you're out," is repeated by women and gay men around the world.
Winner: Seal, hands down. No matter how successful his wife ends up, nothing she does will ever trump the fact that he gets to go to bed with one of the most beautiful people in the world every night.
Madonna vs. Guy Ritchie
Madonna: The Queen of Pop has sold more than 200-million albums, has a net worth of close to half a billion dollars, and has set more trends than all of her peers combined. Sure, she might have starred in some of the worst movies ever made, but did we mention she's worth half a billion friggin' dollars?
Guy Ritchie: Ritchie has directed three movies that no one can tell apart (RockNRolla being the latest), a pretty awful movie (Revolver), and one of the five worst movies of the new millennium (Swept Away, starring Madonna).
Winner: Madonna, who's finally divorcing the hack after almost eight years of him always standing two feet behind her on the red carpet. But if Madge hooks up with Alex Rodriguez, expect some real competition.
