"I guess if people tell you that you suck, then you just suck," concludes an uncharacteristically grim Trash, on his way to dropping off a pile of fliers for his next show. Trash -- a.k.a. Chris Bright, the perpetually stringy, strung-out, six-stringed screamer who regularly pushes the envelope of good taste until the poor thing can't even be mailed -- ain't feeling much love from his peeps right now. And that's got Trash in the dumps.
It is fair to say that most people witnessing the spectacle that is Trash's stage show, which always involves one or more barely legal female dancers, would have good reason to come away with the word suck on the tongue-tip. "I have a video of Sunday blowing a giant dildo she had stuck in Neptune's crotch," Trash brags of two of his co-conspirators/dancers. True, some of Sunday's on-stage exploits rivaled the girl-on-girl action at Broward's most audacious strip clubs. A few venues would occasionally ask for nipples to be covered with tape (most didn't care), but the Trash show -- which, for a time featured another naughty nubile named Psycho Cindy Brady -- generally got away with what the girls call "murder."
With remarkable alacrity, the other definitions of the word suck, those not necessarily meaning "to fellate," have recently been applied to Trash's fearlessly grungy music. "I'm not appreciated here," decides a dejected Trash, reporting that for a Valentine's Day gig at the Culture Room in tandem with F**K ("Critic's Pick," March 6, 2003), "only 20 people showed up." So the pipe-cleaner-thin, painted-nail Trash vows to give the weary public a break from his every-three-week string of shows and take some time off to regroup -- following a rebellious sendoff at the Surf Cafe in Boca Raton this Saturday, March 15, for something called a Slut Sandwich Party, which begins at 4 p.m. Also appearing are Trytones, Set Trigger, Blackwatch, Emigrants, High Times Lounge, New Wave Hookers, and the Mary Tyler Whores.
Customs and visa problems prevented last weekend's Culture show ("Cultural Exchange," February 27, 2003) from reaching the beach at Fort Lauderdale's Club Atlantis. Leader Joseph Hill and his wife remained grounded back in Jamaica as the rest of the band waited in vain in a bus across the peninsula. The show has been rescheduled for March 29.
Don't despair -- in the meantime, there's plenty of dancehall dalliance to be found. Up in Belle Glade this Saturday, veteran selectors Father Mello, Father Trainer, and Father Desmond congregate at the Hollywood Lounge. Saturday is also the time to catch King Waggy T., Richie D, Daddy Al, and Bambino at Peppers Cafe, north of Oakland Park on University Drive.
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In south Broward, the enticingly named Sweeney's 23-Hour Liquor Lounge on Hallandale Beach Boulevard has become Energy Sports Bar, now hosting dancehall sessions, like the recent School Uniform Party (featuring Big Links, Megga Flexx, Innocent Fire, and Triple XXX Sweetness), which kicked off at 1 a.m., took recess at 4 a.m., and rang the final bell at 7. Big Links is there every Saturday hosting a soca/calypso/reggae/Latin fiesta, and Sundays is all reggae, all the time -- except for the one hour a day the place is closed, of course. Down the street, west of 441 on Miramar Parkway, Stingers Nite Club doesn't seem to be packing 'em in like it used to, but Thursday night still boasts DJ Nasti P., Tommy Dogg, and Crunch 1 for the hip-hop/ragga flava.
Hollywood weekends have borrowed most of the regional reggae thunder of late, particularly at Ginger Bay Cafe, where a live band hits it hard all Friday night long as a procession of singers and toasters shares the mic. Just a short walk away is Calabash, which is always crowded on weekends and also has a late-night Sunday session.
North Miami is another reggae hotbed -- Club Ice has Riddim Force, Natural Mystic, DJ Fras, and DJ X every Sunday night; Club Platinum fills each Wednesday evening with Bashment Kid, Impressions, Katalus, and Megga Flexx. Huge end-of-the-month shows (Saturday, March 29) will give Culture's concert some stiff competition: West Palm Beach's own New Vibes joins Bass Odyssey, Sensation, Matrix, and V-Tech at Miami's Newcomb Hall, while Fort Lauderdale's Inverrary Resort Hotel presents a massive dancehall celebration with Daddy "U-Roy" Flourgon, Admiral Bailey, Daddy Lizard, Red Dragon, King Stereo Graf, and Stone Love.
Big up for some big, big nights -- but if you're going to attend, take a tip from a wise old sage who's been around far longer than Bandwidth and boasts far more savvy: Always wear long pants. Don't ask why; just do it. And check our clubs listings for more addys and digits on the above venues.