Drake's 50K Strip Club Spree, and Five Better Ways He Could Have Spent the Cash
Apparently Drizzy and his posse rolled in with a cardboard box loaded with dough.
And then proceeded to make it rain. Profusely. Like, Old Testament-flood style.
As post-Enlightenment secular humanists, we can't help but feel like he could have used the money a little more wisely. So, here are five better ways that drake could have spent 50K, instead of on lap dances.
5. Drake Could Have Saved the Music
Every dollar that a stripper clasps with her quaking, clapping mammoth ass-cheeks is another dollar that doesn't go toward teaching Tiny Tim how to become the next Drake. Somebody buy that little git a melodica or something already.
4. Drake Could Have Paid His Lawyers
You tryin' to tell us the lawsuit the CMYM star is embroiled in against pop-rap-R&B peer Chris Brown is cheap? 'Cause we're almost certain it costs at least the price of 30 minutes in VIP.
3. Drake Could Have Saved Lindsay Lohan
Maybe Birdman Junior Jr. should take a cue from actor/freebasing party animal Charlie Sheen. Rather than spending your money on hoodrat hoochie mamas, perhaps it could be better utilized as a charitable donation.
2. Drake Could Have Paid for Lil Wayne's Crimes Against Miami
After shit-talking Miami's multibajillion-dollar holy trinity of basketball (and Chris Bosh's wife), it's going to take a PR campaign that costs at least $50,000 to get Weezy F. Baby back in the Magic City's good graces.
1. Drake Could Have Invested in a Hologram
Because it's time he start to think about his future, damn it.
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