Drake's 50K Strip Club Spree, and Five Better Ways He Could Have Spent the Cash
Apparently Drizzy and his posse rolled in with a cardboard box loaded with dough.
And then proceeded to make it rain. Profusely. Like, Old Testament-flood style.
As post-Enlightenment secular humanists, we can't help but feel like he could have used the money a little more wisely. So, here are five better ways that drake could have spent 50K, instead of on lap dances.
5. Drake Could Have Saved the Music
Every dollar that a stripper clasps with her quaking, clapping mammoth ass-cheeks is another dollar that doesn't go toward teaching Tiny Tim how to become the next Drake. Somebody buy that little git a melodica or something already.
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4. Drake Could Have Paid His Lawyers
3. Drake Could Have Saved Lindsay Lohan
Maybe Birdman Junior Jr. should take a cue from actor/freebasing party animal Charlie Sheen. Rather than spending your money on hoodrat hoochie mamas, perhaps it could be better utilized as a charitable donation.
2. Drake Could Have Paid for Lil Wayne's Crimes Against Miami
After shit-talking Miami's multibajillion-dollar holy trinity of basketball (and Chris Bosh's wife), it's going to take a PR campaign that costs at least $50,000 to get Weezy F. Baby back in the Magic City's good graces.
1. Drake Could Have Invested in a Hologram
Because it's time he start to think about his future, damn it.
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