Elton John Versus Cee Lo Green: Who Is More Glorious?
Elton tripping the croc fantastic.
Besides being one of the best-selling artists of all time, Elton John also boasts the distinction of always being on the radio. Don't believe us? Scan real quick through your FM dial; he'll either be on Big 106 singing "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting" or on the Coast doing "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" or "Still Standing" on Y-100.
Sir Elton isn't the only man who owns the airwaves. Cee Lo Green, another fancy man with a sexy throat, is catching up to him. These boys have a lot in common: sexy threads, wild stage shows, and appetites for love, The Muppets and scoring hit songs with vulgar titles. In anticipation of John's upcoming Billy Joel-free concert at BankAtlantic Center
on Friday, March 9, join us as we compare the glamour showboats.
Category One: What's in a Name?
First Comes the Night Tour
TicketsSat., Apr. 30, 8:00pm
The Smashing Pumpkins - In Plainsong
TicketsSun., May. 1, 7:30pm
Cypress Hill: 25th Anniversary World Tour
TicketsTue., May. 3, 7:30pm
Mavis Staples & the Blind Boys of Alabama
TicketsWed., May. 4, 7:30pm
TicketsFri., May. 6, 6:00pm
Sir Elton was born Reginald Kenneth Dwight -- not bad, sounds classy and dignified. Cee Lo was born Thomas DeCarlo Callaway. That is a fancy-pants name; it sounds like a casino in the Caribbean where jazz is king.
Cee Lo wins this round. 3 points!
Category Two: Made in the Shade
Cee Lo is kind of famous for his sunglasses, but Elton has millions of pairs that are hundreds of degrees hotter.
Elton wins this round. 5 points! Perfect score!
Category Three: Parental Advisory -- Hit Record!
"Fuck You" by Cee Lo was number two in the States and number one in the U.K., while Elton's "The Bitch Is Back" came in at four in the U.S. and 15 in his home-field. Sorry, Elton; Cee Lo's song was a bigger hit, with a dirtier word.
Cee Lo wins! 5 points!
Category Four: The Clothes Make the Man
Donald Duck may not be able to beat up a Spartan warrior in a wrestling match. But everyone knows this disco duck has the hottest moves on the dance floor.
Elton wins 4 points!
Category Five: Muppet Collaboration
This is a toughy. Cee Lo rolled out an army of Muppets at the Grammys; but, Elton and Miss Piggy make such a cute couple -- sorry, Kermy.
Tie! 10 points each!
Category Six: Mr. Madison Avenue
Damn, Mr. Green is a red M&M; that's not nice. Are they implying Cee Lo is a candy-coated human? Elton sipping on the silky white, that's something we can stand behind!
Elton wins! 5 points!
Category Seven: Animal Fun!
We'd rather hang out with an actual zebra than be turned into a bear.
Elton John wins, 24 to 21! We knew it all along. Now turn on your radio and listen to some of their hits -- we guarantee you'll find one. Unless Phil Collins is playing; sometimes he is on the air instead of them.
Elton John. 8 p.m. Friday, March 9, at BankAtlantic Center, 1 Panther Parkway, Sunrise. Tickets cost $35.75 to $140.75 and go on sale January 14 at 10 a.m. Click here.
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