Five Political Roles Andrew W.K. Should Be Appointed to Next
County Grind thinks this is a good decision on the part of the State Department.
And not because we think W.K. is ill-suited for the job. In fact, we think he's overqualified!
Here are five political, civic, and/or public service roles Andrew W.K. should pursue now that he doesn't have to waste his time imparting iPad values to the Middle East.
Honorary Knight Commander of the Order of the British Empire
Did Andrew really want to deal with the 24/7 headache of being the cultural ambassador to Bahrain? His two biggest singles are "Party Hard" and "She Is Beautiful," which, if you can't tell, are the antithesis of moral living in the largely religious Middle Eastern nation. We think British knighthood would be a much better fit. He'd be in the highly esteemed, VH1-y company of Bono, Paul McCartney, and Elton John. And maybe he can get wasted and ride around in shopping carts with Prince Harry.
Supreme Court Justice
Andrew W.K. believes in a strict interpretation of the constitution, with sensible adjustment to contemporary society. He's got the wisdom of King Solomon and drafts documents with the eloquence of Rousseau. Now that he never has to run for office again, we hope Obama finally lives up to his campaign promise from '08 to nominate a member of To Live and Shave in L.A. to the Supreme Court.
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