Five Ways Charlie Sheen Plans on #Winning in South Florida at the BankAtlantic Center, April 23

Charlie Sheen, in relatively more predictable times
Charlie Sheen, in relatively more predictable times
photo CC by 3.0, via Angela George on Wikimedia Commons

​Charlie Sheen is at it... again. And while we're in Sheen's Korner just as much as the next guy, we can't wait to see what new memes he's going to cook up next in ... Fort Lauderdale?!

Yes, you read right. The "My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option Show" Tour has been launched on We're not kidding. Check out five ways Charlie Sheen will probably end up winning in Fort Lauderdale after the jump.

Among the 20 or shows on the slate so far, Sheen will be making a stop at the BankAtlantic Center on April 23. Tickets go on sale tomorrow at 10am. But what can we expect, exactly? If Charlie Sheen has anything to say about it,

"My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not An Option Show is coming for you. I'm going on the road. LIVE. Will there be surprises? Will there be guests? Will there be mayhem? Will you ask questions? Will you laugh? Will you scream? Will you know the truth? WILL THERE BE MORE?!?! This IS where you will hear the REAL story from the Warlock. Bring it! I dare you to keep up with me."

Ohhhh. Color us intrigued.

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He'll probably have a camera crew.
It only makes sense that he would. It's the next logical step, right? He had reporters follow him around and web cams all the time, so why not have a camera crew tag along for his tour? Crazier things have happened ... to Charlie, anyway.

The goddesses will reveal they also have tiger blood.
Charlie told us all he has tiger blood running in his veins. But is he the only one? He can't be. How cool would this spectacle be if we actually got to see what his "tiger blood" looks like? We bet it's dripping out of diamonds.

He'll teach us how to be a real #winner.
Charlie's offering limited "Meet and greet packages," but he specifies "for winners only." Charlie, will you teach us how to be winners? Please? That has to be on the itinerary ... HAS TO.

He'll tell us how to live like a warlock.
Will he give us an actual class, Harry Potter-style? Is being a warlock almost like a religion to him? Or will he just dismiss us all as trolls and write us off? We sure hope not.

He'll add another goddess to the brood.
Wear your skimpiest outfits, ladies. We have a hunch by the time April rolls around, it might be high time for Charlie to add another goddess to his brood. And hey, maybe then we can claim one of the lucky ladies as one of our own.

Charlie Sheen, April 23 at 8 p.m. At the Bank Atlantic Center, 1 Panther Parkway, Sunrise. Tickets start at $49.50. Tickets go on sale March 19 at 10 a.m., via

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