December 25, 2012 | 6:56am
While the "doomsday preppers" were tucked away in their bunkers with stockpiles of Spam preparing to put their heads between their knees and kiss their asses goodbye, the Fort Lauderdale party squad known as Black Locust Society welcomed the predicted December 21, 2012, armageddonapocalypse (yes, one word) with open arms for the eighth edition of their notorious warehouse party, Swarm.
The line-up of Ex Norwegian, Los Bastardos Magnificos, Black Seal, the JAMS crew, and the epic BLS All Stars could very well have spawned the beginning of the end. Lucky for the hundreds of bundled up rage-aholics, the end of the end of the world came and went flawlessly. But, if the world were to have miraculously combusted minutes after the clock struck midnight, partygoers would have been lucky to breathe their last breaths at the foot of the Mayan pyramid, which was retrofitted inside the BLS warehouse.
In true Swarm fashion, the night featured insanity of all sorts, courtesy of endless beers, some funny smelling cigarettes, and the outrageous vibe of Black Locust Society. Here is a breakdown of the madness that crept upon the blustery night of 12-21-12, the night the world didn't end.
5. There's no doubt the two-story-high shrine to the Mayan mayhem mumbojumbo stole the show. The BLS crew spent weeks perfecting their architectural masterpiece -- as if their collective talent wasn't already nauseating, right? -- and it suitably towered like a monument above the swarm below.
4. One of the perks of Swarm is definitely the endless supply of free booze, but for those of us with a dollar or two (or ten, whatever) to spare, the wheel-of-fortune-esque game station that's become a staple of all BLS events is forever a mystery. A surprise in every spin can win you BLS swag out the whazoo and, if you're lucky, a super tacky but amazing golden Buddha. Because, hell, why not?
3. Swarm 2012 literally had us headed for cover throughout the night as an anonymous group of pyromaniacal troublemakers launched firecracker after firecracker at often unsuspecting victims. No one was hurt in the warzone of schoolboy fun, but one or two side eyes thrown at more than a few guilty suspects. You know who you are.
2. Keeping with the fire theme seems fitting for an end-of-the-world party in retrospect, but this dude with his magical fire-wand seemingly came out of nowhere. He swung and twirled his lightsaber of death for the crowd who looked on in amazement, but this was definitely a WTF moment for the Swarm record books.
1. Ya can't have Swarm without BLS, and the quartet stormed the stage late into the night. Protoman, Jabrjaw, Gaps, and Bleubird wrecked the halls of their infamous party, hyping up the crowd in between beer runs. These party pros are known for going hard in their respective mothafuckin' paints, if you will, but with the end of the world looming, the BLS All Stars ripped the proverbial Mayan calendar to shreds.