I'm hoping none of you needs an introduction to the Atomic Dog, a.k.a. Dr. Funkenstein, a.k.a. Uncle Jam. You should know George Clinton's influence on pop, rock, and hip-hop is far too profound to detail here. You might also have realized his music is as scathingly political as it is roof-raisingly raunchy. Good -- those are the bare facts. But maybe you've never seen the Mothership Connection live and direct, and you're not sure what to expect. So, for your edification, an inventory:
Grown men in diapers. Nuns on trampolines. Wedding-gowned drummers. An army of guitarists. Half-naked Sir Nose getting kinky with his exaggerated schnoz, giving a whole new meaning to the term "nose job." A burly, rainbow-dreadlocked man wearing a bedsheet. Twenty-minute space-bass solos. Forty-some people onstage at once, only a quarter actually playing instruments. Ceaseless demands to "give up the funk," "turn this motha out," and "GET OFF YOUR ASS AND JAM!" And so on.
This will continue uninterrupted for a minimum of three hours. It will be, without question, the ultimate New Year's Eve celebration, one you'll never forget, if you can manage to remember any of it. When the primordial funk calls, you must answer. Now you know.
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George Clinton and Parliament/Funkadelic play at 8 p.m. Friday, December 31, at Revolution, 200 W. Broward Blvd., Fort Lauderdale. Tickets are $50. Call 954-727-0950.