Happy Birthday, Whitney Houston!

"$750,000 on cocaine? ...I wish."
"$750,000 on cocaine? ...I wish."

Whitney Houston turns 48 today! Which is a total shock to us. We are shocked that she is so young. For the past ten years or so, she's looked like she's at least 50. No disrespect to the Diva, but she's had a rough decade. When she popped on the scene in 1985, she was a sweet, cool breeze. She was only 22 when her eponymous debut album came out. She was fresh-faced and vibrant and seemed like the girl next door. Seriously, no one had any idea what she'd one day become.

The one thing that was clear was that she would be a superstar. From '85 to '98, she practically dominated the charts. Her work as an actress on and the soundtrack of The Bodyguard cemented her into the fabric of pop culture. While she was saturating the airwaves with her Dolly Parton cover of "I Will Always Love You," she was settling down with her new hubby and partner in crime, Bobby Brown.

Many blame Bobby for Whitney's erratic behavior and drug abuse. We don't

blame Bobby; we blame shitloads of money and fancy cocaine. We aren't

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here to judge; we're here to celebrate Whitney Houston and to talk a

little harmless shit. So, let's celebrate Whitney by watching her ups

and downs on our computers together. 

"Saving All My Love for You"

Look at this girl. She seems so sweet and kind of naive. We were sweet and naive too, back then.

"I Wanna Dance With Somebody"

This is such an innocent party jam. Totally OK for family parties or eighth-grade dances. Check out all the amazing looks Whitney sports in this clip. She morphs from jean-jacketed Lioness to West Side Story/Grease sock-hopper to Flamenco dancer.

"I Will Always Love You"

This is Whitney at her classiest and finest. We would totally take a Samurai sword to the gut for this Whitney.

Whitney Houston on Diane Sawyer

This is where we learned that crack is for poor people; furthermore, it is whack.

Whitney Houston Live in Australia, 2010

Whitney, please come back to form soon. These Australians are so disappointed, and so are we. Whitney, we know you can do it. Take some me-time, read some books, meditate, detox, and come back to us. We miss you, and we don't want to miss you more.


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