Hayden Panettiere may play one of the nastiest, most manipulative divas in the history of fake country musicians on Nashville, but from the looks of photos from her Easter trip to Florida, she seems like a smiley gal who just wants a tan.
In an attempt to uncover the real Panettiere, we cyberstalked her fan pics on Instagram and created a narrative of what occurred over the past few days on her South Florida vacay with behemoth boxer boyfriend, and possible fiancé, Wladimir Klitschko. Everyone's speculating they're engaged because she's wearing a ring, but it's on her right hand, not left. He's Ukrainian, so maybe that's what "they" do over there. Or maybe she's just wearing a ring.
Our food blog Clean Plate Charlie reported yesterday it they spotted the starlet at Off the Hookah on Monday night at the Life's a Drag party, complete with, well, drag queens and fans and drag-queen fans. But more on that in our photo diary of Hayden's South Florida holiday.
According to hash tags and tabloids, it appears the purple bandeau bikini with fringe was worn in Miami over the weekend. Let's say they hit up South Beach for a playful, ass-grabby romp on the sand before celebrating the resurrection of Christ.
We imagine they had rough but loving, sensual sex and relentless orgasms at someplace like the Shore Club, SLS, or the Standard. On second thought, we take it back. These two look like Betsey type of beach bums.
Now, on to Sunday. It looks like Easter was spent further north since all of the day's photos were taken on Hollywood Beach. Hayden and her homegirls seem to be enjoying a man-free brunch of stringy slop. But maybe that's just the photo.
It seems she hit the sand again that day, also boyfriend-free, wearing a Free People dress and another kind of purple bikini. We're not entirely sure, but we don't think this gigantic dude is Wladimir. Shoutout to the Ocean Grande Hollywood Beach Club and the peace sign. Wut?!
We almost puked in our own mouths when we read this line from the British tabloid The Sun:
"Rather than flaunting a stick-thin figure like many of her Hollywood peers, Hayden cut a refreshingly healthy and curvy sight. She also didn't seem bothered about concealing the patches of cellulite on the back of her legs."
Can a young woman with a normal human body enjoy a beach day without being picked apart by media trolls?!
Now on to our next stalker analysis and creepy picking apart of the lovely actress' beach day.
Next up, Panettiere hit up Las Olas where she took a picture with just about everyone at Off the Hookah, including hostess of the drag fest and scene veteran Daisy Deadpetals. Daisy's been around since we were in high school, so you know she's got staying power.
And here are all of the little people Hayden was kind enough to pose with.
Rolandxoxo, we love that you have a Fat Tuesday's cup in your default pic. Very Fort Lauderdale Beach. #represent
These pictures prove Panettiere is actually a total beauty. Unless she insisted on retaking iPhone photos with fans until she looked good, these are just flawless. No offense, Hayden; but we don't want our mugs right up against yours.
Finally, we have no narrative for when these next shots were taken, but everyone has pics like that from their vacation. Those lost moments captured digitally but not in memory.
In conclusion, check out those tatas.
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