There is certainly no shortage of burlesque shows around Broward or Palm Beach counties. From Cupcake Burlesque to the Reckless Dames, I've seen just about every troupe under the sun. I've even seen men in drag do burlesque with Betty Pickle's "Boylesque" show at Bill's Filling Station in Wilton Manors. And while I do appreciate the titillating ladies dripping in sequins and gay men showering the crowd in beer from their codpieces, I always felt: What about the desires of a straight woman? Do we not also need semi-nudies teasing us onstage with their furry bodies?
So, on Friday night, as hungry cougars gathered to watch Magic Mike, I trekked up to the Speakeasy Lounge for a different sort of man
meat at Hurly-Burly Burlesque's debut show.
The Speakeasy Lounge was filled with cigarette smoke, the stench of beer, and tattooed ladies waiting to catch a glimpse of some bare buns. The crowd chanted: "Hurly-burly! Hurly-burly!" over the DJ's musical selections, which included Queen, Beastie Boys, and assorted hipster hits.
"Where's the beef?" yelled an eager woman.
Dressed in a suit with stretched ears and slicked-back hair, complete with sideburns, our MC for the night took the dimly lit stage. Cheers and high-pitched screams from the audience pierced my ears. The stage went dark, and "Take My Breath Away" swept its way through the speakers. Performer Timmy Fine appeared out of the darkness covered in strips of duct tape. For the next extremely awkward few minutes, Fine writhed around on stage pulling the tape from his body, finally revealing his white underoos. The ladies up front went absolutely mad.
"Do you like magic?" said the MC holding a sparkler. "What about corn dogs?"
To the sound of 50 Cent and Lil Kim's "Magic Stick," the bearded Percy Longpepper arrived on stage in a top hat, suit, and sparklers. He white-boy-danced around onstage while swirling sparklers about his body. After what seemed like ages, he ripped off his wardrobe to reveal an extremely tiny G-string and tape over his nipples. Folks, I've never heard females scream so loudly. Then came the corn dog. There was mustard. There was ass slapping. Need we say more?
In between performances -- which felt a bit too long -- the half naked performers strutted their stuff around the bar, collecting tips and grinding their wet bodies against various women. A few of them even offered lap dances to interested parties. As the night progressed, things got messier, sweatier, and more vulgar than we could have imagined. And the ladies in the crowd ate up every last bit of it, hopping up onstage and throwing dollar bills around like it was a bachelorette party.
According to the Hurly-Burly Facebook page, they're already working on the next show:
"next show is coming soon! new acts, new lineups, new location, same sexy results!"
While this show may not have been the most typical burlesque performance around these parts, we
certainly can't wait to see what these fellows whip out next.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!