Is it wrong to love the music of Jennifer Lopez or that of Enrique Iglesias? Maybe. But is their music as obnoxiously addictive as cupcakes were popular in the early aughts? Yes, and just as delicious and somehow just as gross as that strangely popular phase in American culinary history.
Both Enrique Iglesias and Jennifer Lopez may have aged in a way that makes their flesh appear to be made of plastic, but over the years, they have made music that is catchier than HPV. Lopez is involved in about a thousand projects, including "designing" clothing (still a bad idea), starring in What to Expect When You're Expecting, putting out an upcoming Vegas-based musical competition, sitting in on American Idol, and dating a man she could have birthed. Iglesias, well, he's up to talking about his junk in front of large audiences. We're not complaining.
Lopez's Puerto Rican power and Iglesias' Spanish spunk have joined forced to get the pelvises thrusting for a 16-city tour that will start July 14 and end at the American Airlines Arena in Miami on August 31.
Let's talk about why it's totally OK to get weird in front of your mirror and listen to some of these two cheesers' music. But, before you press play on any of the following videos, know that these songs will not leave your ears for many, many, many days. They will slap your ears, flip them up, and rub them down. They'll be fucking you tonight.
Let's start with Enrique. It's clear why he's not "cool," like totally clear. He's always made the kind of songs that would make even the least nerdy music nerd cringe. Let's look at "Escape" for a moment. Iglesias was a very hot number back in the earlier days of his career, and though you can't see it on his face, this song has a lot of emotion.
It's poorly acted, overly emotional, totally corny, but still, this video manages to allow its actors to maintain a level of sex appeal. Cheesy and sexy? He pulls it off. It's also a totally fun song to sing along to alone in the car -- in the same vein as Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone."
The worst part about Iglesias is that his newer music is like an early Madonna song. It is awesome and terrible at the same time. It sticks. "I Like It," produced by Gaga's hit-maker RedOne, and "Tonight (I'm Fuckin' You)" are magnificent, poppy musical monsters. I like it that he has Pitbull in the song, and who better to sing about fucking with than Luda? Like for realz. Luda's a filthy man. And again, baby, I really like it.
Remember any fly girl's classic jam "I'm Real" for which Ja Rule teamed up with the former Mrs. Marc Anthony? It's the most satisfying song to sing along to, mostly because your range is about that of JLo's, but also because you can totally feel this shit in your heart. 'Cause you're real too girl. And don't you ever forget that.
"Get Right" is one of the jammingest dance tunes ever. Start loving it tonight if you don't already. It's a classic, or near classic.
Lopez's most recent single, also produced by RedOne and featuring Pitbull, "On the Floor" was a big old hit. It doesn't have what "Get Right" does, none of that real attitude. But it's got Pitbull, and that satisfies the 305 in this girl.
Jennifer Lopez and Enrique Iglesias on Friday, August 31, at American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami.