Jon Bon Jovi Fans Losing Their Shit: Highlights From the Comments Section
HEY! SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH ME ON THE INTERNET! LET'S CALL HER A BITCH.
Sometimes, New Times stirs the pot. Sometimes, we put out something controversial, and sometimes, people get agitated and call us idiots and fax us letters saying they're going to murder us. It happens.
Just usually not on a mostly positive review of a 50-year-old dude playing a campy concert.
New Times Music Editor Liz Tracy reviewed last week's Jon Bon Jovi concert, and this blog post was not her idea. But man, you people are assholes.
"What a sad and pathetic review," wrote andreasp229.
"i cant believe i just read this B-itches Review?" wrote jjab652. "I am so mad cause when you insult Bon Jovi LIZ you insult the fans!! GET a real Job. I hope you didnt quite your day job bi%ch."
A charming woman named Nancy Medina also chimed in: "You think you're so clever. The fact is you're not. Don't bore us with your occasional compliments on Jon's hair and ass."
"Us," like there's a clan of Bon Jovi fans that have to approve every review and are not impressed by references to his being attractive. In case you are interested in creepy, hypocritical details, Medina linked her comment to her Facebook profile, where she says she got a degree at the "University of Jovi" and majored in "Jon's megawatt smile and awesome rear."
She commented four times on this story. FOUR.
I especially LOVE the line, "Jon (we'll call him that to distinguish him from his usual band that shares his last name)" ROTFLMAO!!!! OKAY!!!! You're a little late BITCH! I think WE ALL call him that!!! Hahahaha!!
Nancy. Go outside.
Here's another gem, from barbaraknowsrockandroll:
Liz Tracy you are low class, obnoxious and ignorant of the truth. You have been shamefully disrespectful of one of the greatest rock stars ever AND his accompanying accomplished musicians. Liz, I guess you "don't know his demographic" or much about rock and roll, music in general, or even writing. ....and don't tell me your racist too, referring to the "white ladies in the crowd". I have to say I laughed out loud when you called Jon's rendition of Hallelujah "decent"....OMG I thought I'd lose it laughing....AS IF YOU'D KNOW . I'll just close with this, in the only way a young punk like you can understand....Liz, you're a flaming asshole and you ought to keep your pie hole shut.
Yeah, Liz. As if you'd know. AS IF YOU HAD EARS OF YOUR OWN. You're a flaming racist asshole with an opinion I disagree with, and I need to make sure you know it.
If you haven't read it, Liz's review is online, comment section intact. The paragraph most representative of the review is this one:
Jon danced about like a dork. He charmed the audience, joking that he saw trouble in them, then adding "not really." He announced that there are a lot of pretty girls in South Florida. This led, of course to "Pretty Woman." Jon's aviators came off, presumably to show respect to Roy Orbison (RIP)? He sang, "Are you lonely, just like me?" Why yes, Jon, we are. How'd you know? Your hair looks great, BTW!
This graf incorporates most of the themes in the piece: makes fun of Bon Jovi a little, touts his stage presence, points out that he looks just fabulous.
The review also includes likes like "And he's, of course, still a great performer," and it ends with "He's definitely still got some rock in him yet, whether he's bringing it on this tour, and that allows us to keep the JBJ faith." But yeah, there was some fun-making going on.
So it wasn't a wholly positive review. So she didn't like his Bowie cover. So she said his rendition of "Shout" -- probably the cheesiest live music move in the book -- made the concert seem like "a well-funded bar mitzvah." So what.
Just for fun, let's see who else weighed in. How about, hmmm, Venice O'Keefe, who is from Connecticut and has Bon Jovi as her profile picture:
This is a horrendous review and should have never been allowed to be posted.
Oh, crap, is Venice our ombudsman? Ombudswoman? I didn't even know we had an ombudswoman.
I myself,and I know other people will be horrified to see such untruth being said.
Did you know there's a presidential election coming up? And one of the guys wears magic underpants? This is not something to get horrified about.
The musicians who were there have worked together many times before.I think it is awful,that their names are not even mentioned..
In short, what you think is awful is irrelevant, and if "I think it is awful" is your only argument that something needs to be changed, well, that's just a lousy argument.
And to say that " Hallelujah " wasn't perfect is just so sad. I can't even say any more,because the more I write,the more upset I become.Such A shame!!!!!!!!!
Listen, veniceokeefe, and the rest of you delusional, middle-aged sociopaths. Jon Bon Jovi is not important. He isn't. He wrote great music, once upon a time, and now he's coasting on those songs and your money, which will both run out in several years when everyone involved is dead. But, big picture here, he does not matter. Not even a little -- and neither does someone disagreeing with you about his being the second coming of Jesus' heavenly tush.
It's music. It's fun noise. And it's nothing to get this worked up over.
Get the Music Newsletter
Find out about upcoming concerts and special offers happening in the South Florida music scene.