Kenny Millions' NSFW New Year's Resolutions: "Pay Me More Fucking Money"

Kenny Millions' NSFW New Year's Resolutions: "Pay Me More Fucking Money"
Alex Markow

It's unfortunate that most "tattooed candy-asses" can only associate Hollywood's Kenneth Maslak strictly with Sushi Blues or as part of the annals of a pissed-off, white guy avant-garde. Maslak, the eternally angry but with purpose and reason and much better known as Kenny Millions was a revered jazz sax player and innovator since well before those "tattooed candy-asses" were born.

Millions might make you squirm when he takes to a stage, often looking like a greasy cyberpunk butcher in a Z-grade film, but within his musings and shrilly salvos, there's a raw and sadly forgotten type of artistry that shares a commonality within the expressive primitive self we all harbor but choose to ignore.

Kenny Millions is Zen serenity and an amalgam of multiple wisdoms weathered and beaten into one cocksucking shit storm of willfully offending aphorisms and solipsism.

Treat him the way that you would Nostradamus. He requires the kid gloves of "interpretation" and make sure to look deeper beyond the face value of his sayings for the true meaning. See yourself reflected in his simple poetry, emulate his goals, lead a free life filled with artistic expression -- free from societal mores and the puritanical restrictions that continuously wage war against your true self. Read his resolutions for inspiration.

See also: Death to the Sun: How Kenny Millions Got His Name, and Why His Fans Are C*cksuckers

5. "Get cocksucker producers and venue owners to pay me more fucking money."

Kenny's time is literally worth millions. Woe unto those who refuse adequate returns to his genius. Why settle for shit when you know your shit is worth millions? Maybe it's time to have that "chat" with the boss after all. Aren't you worth millions too?

Kenny Millions - "The Messiah Likes Big Ass Booty" from The Artist The Dog on Vimeo.

4. "Have fans kiss my ass many more times."

In South Florida, many people and entities are in on the take. Politicians, businessmen, etc... you get the point. Why spend your lifetime kissing their asses and doing their bidding when you could very well be getting your ass kissed instead? Think about it. Act on it.

 

"Say motherfucker and cocksucker often."

Sometimes, what is necessary for life and the self to evolve is a form of prayer and/or mantra that one must repeat at all times and under all circumstances. Under times of strength, of anguish, of incontinence -- it doesn't matter as long as the words are true to you.

See also: Ten Best New Year's Eve 2015 Parties in Broward and Palm Beach Counties

Kenny Millions - "Brutal Extreme Death Metal Noise Booty" from The Artist The Dog on Vimeo.

2. "Offend more assholes."

Once you've identified that which seeks to destroy you, be them assholes or bean burritos or both, you must also seek a way in which to destroy that which seeks to destroy you in the most aggressive manner possible.

1. "Piss off more people."

If you're not accomplishing something positive upon leaving your domicile in the morning, do the world a favor and remain within the confines of your shell, for you bring no meaning, no beauty, no art and no humanity to the world.

May 2015 work out for you.

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