Hernandez, who calls himself the least active member of the band, ended up giving us the dirtiest lowdown about his bandmates and closest friends. On why he's the least active member, he says, "That is because Gabe [Miranda, singer/songwriter] is jealous of
my swag. He is a very petty person." Burn.
We'll all assume he's being irreverent, since these guys are going to have to take the stage together on Saturday. Read Hernandez's rant and secrets spilled after the jump.
YOLO Moment Number 1
handle of Chivas Regal from Tequila Ranch because they wouldn't let me
in, because my friends and I were dressed like shit." Hernandez begins. "I had to sneak in
the back door and go upstairs to the small room where they have all of
their liquor." His adventure was a success, but the next time, not so much.
"A couple of months later, I tried to do it again and was tackled by five Seminole cops. I am currently
banned for life from Tequila Ranch. Both Drew [Dakesian] and Gabe were
there the first night that I stole the big-ass bottle of scotch. But it
was Drew who helped me finish the damn thing before sunrise."
Hater Moment Number 1
come up with most of the graphics for the band (fliers, logos, etc.) and
directed our first music video. The one he hasn't finished," Hernandez says contemptuously.
YOLO Moment Number 2
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has been playing bass for us recently. He and his brother Eddie are
kickin' it for about a minute."
Hernandez then tattles, "One time, Eddie stole a cane
from an old man who was waiting in line at CVS for his medication. When
I asked him why he did it, he told me that it's because it 'looked really nice and authentic, like an old Dominican-man's cane.' I
have seen the cane and agree that it does look really nice."
Hater Moment Number 2
is Gabe," he says of his old friend. "Out of all the people mentioned in this article, Gabe is by
far the most immature and insufferable, and that says a lot. He wrote
the songs, so good for him."
Hear Gabe's songs with the Gun Hoes playing with Lil Daggers, Jacuzzi Boys, and Radio-Active Records DJs at 10 p.m. Saturday, June 16, at Green Room, 109 SW Second Ave., Fort Lauderdale.