LMFAO, Ke$ha, and Black Eyed Peas: Raves for Kids
LMFAO is tacky, fratty, loud, goofy, and stupid. That's not the biggest bad of the dance-party duo. Their worst quality is that they're a group that is tacky, fratty, goofy, and stupid that performs for audiences of babies.
This past year, three concerts in particular exemplified the phenomenon of what we'll call "raves for children." Real raves belong in the '90s. Examples of their modern-day incarnations for underagers are the Ke$ha's "Get $leezy" tour, the Black Eyed Peas -- whose final concert took place at SunLife Stadium -- and these guys, LMFAO, who both opened for Ke$ha and played the recent Y-100 Jingle Ball.
Before launching into this old-fart diatribe, let's preface with a few things: 1. Raves and drum 'n' bass nights were fun 15 years ago; 2. Except for a Gathering of the Juggalos, concerts are almost always awesome; 3. Dancing is the best.
Now back to complaining.
The Ke$ha show didn't involve actual nursing babies, though we're pretty certain the Jingle Ball show with LMFAO did. The "Get $leezy" audience was primarily preteen gals and at least one incredibly intoxicated mother whose boobs threatened to peep from the top of her tube top the entire night. Protected only by her 6-year old daughter, she exemplified the title of the tour. It was at this show, listening to the inane lyrics of LMFAO and the moronic drivel of Ke$ha, that we realized the extent of this questionable lifestyle that's selling young and selling big.
You've heard the song "We R Who We R," where Ke$ha sort of defines what living like a "superstar" is. "We're running this town just like a club," she sings. Her repertoire includes such songs as "Blow," "Hungover," oh, and "C U Next Tuesday." Her whole shtick is: You're famous. Everything you do is fabulous. Look! There's a camera. Smile or look sexy; it's going to be all over the web. When you go to clubs, the snapping of shutters will be the beat of the night. You're on top and ready to rock! You're a rock star, and people are watching you. People are thus important when they are wild. You're most valued because you know how to party and your picture made it on some internet site.
That it is children who are buying into this idea of cool is a problem. Staying out all night and partying in the way of Ke$ha isn't something little people should be doing. There are very few people who can stay out, dancing and partying all night long, without drugs. Remember DARE? How about Drew Barrymore at 13? Drugs and kids don't mix.
They've even got Elmo doing weird things!
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