Madge is back on, and she's coming to Miami this November.
It's sort of flattering that she thought of us down here. Sure, we'll be the last people to see her perform on her 2012 world tour, but we're not complaining. To see Madonna in one's hometown, or somewhere nearby, is every 30-something woman's and gay man's dream.
Miami New Times announced the dates earlier today, and it seems there's no definite venue yet. After swinging around the globe, spending the warm months in the Middle East and Europe, the Material Girl will snake her way through Canada and the States to our sunny embrace.
We want to celebrate. To do so, here are ten of her most underrated songs. There's a drinking game in this somewhere. Take a shot every time Madonna rolls around on the ground?
This is one of the sweetest songs Madonna ever sang. It's impossible not to love it. Sure, she looks like Blanche Devereaux, but she's so young and fresh, sorta. And Debi Mazar's in this shit. This whole cassette was an elementary-school classic. It's brimming with gems like "Papa Don't Preach," "Open Your Heart," "Live to Tell," and "La Isla Bonita." Bueno.
What a superfun dance song. And, it's mad sexy. Madonna's looking a little cheesy through most of the video, but lying in the street is nutso. This is a stalker anthem. Love it.
Off the same album as "Burning Up," thisis a club classic. Everyone's trying to make music that sounds like this, but Madonna did it right like a billion years ago. Can someone just please remix this and play it wherever we're at next weekend. Thanks.
Seriously, get over here with those dancing shoes. This video makes the '90s look like the most fun ever. They kind of were.
"The Power of Good-bye"
Ray of Light
wasn't the coolest Madonna album. In fact, it's pretty much one of the least cool albums of all time. It was embarrassingly lame in most ways. However, there's still some elements that just blast you back to the past.
"What It Feels Like for a Girl"
Madonna's been getting more and more dated over the years, and by Music, things were bad. She's a glammed-out cowgirl. This was a South Beach look that should have stayed on the gays (who could pull it off) and off the superstar. That being said, there was something kind of emotional about this song that works.
"Don't Cry for Me, Argentina"
Listen up. Don't act like you don't cry for Madonna when she's Evita.
"Sooner or Later"
You might think we have a certain affinity for Dick Tracy based on the name, but that's not true. This was a fun movie, and kids enjoyed it. Sure, it was quickly forgotten, but it was good.
"Crazy for You"
This. This song. This is the song. With scenes from Vision Quest, Matthew Modine is cute, but really, not the most interesting video ever. Doesn't matter. We could watch it for hours because this is the jam, people.
Madonna, you're not reading this, but if you do, please take these into consideration when putting together your set list. Thanks!