The new Miley Cyrus video for "Wrecking Ball" off her yet-to-be-released album Bangerz came out today. And, if you can believe it, it's more inappropriate, shocking, and unbearably awkward than anything she's put out yet.
For nearly four minutes, the girl who just a couple of weeks ago created an irreparable hole in the universe with her devil-sent twerking dance moves at the VMAs cries, yells, and gyrates -- naked -- on a giant, swinging wrecking ball (we know, so literal). She also rolls around on piles of rubble and licks a large, dirty sledgehammer while tilting her head back in apparent ecstasy. We had to click pause at least five times while watching; that's how weird it made us feel inside.
And somehow, by now, the whole thing's not really shocking at all.
The Terry Richardson-directed video begins in typical Terry Richardson form, with an extreme closeup shot of the 20-year-old former Disney Star wearing a clean face except for bright-red lips, clumpy mascara, and thin, squiggly lines of black eyeliner. Of course, she sheds minimalistic tears as she sings, a single strand of saliva caught between her teeth all the while because, if you didn't already get the memo, she doesn't give a fuck. This is the epitome of raw emotion.
Next thing you know, it's Miley sporting a white pair of panties and cropped (duh) white tank top through which you can definitely see her breasts, walking in slow motion toward the camera as a wrecking ball pummels an adjacent wall of bare concrete blocks.
Now she's riding the ball, because she obvs owns it. And all of a sudden, she's completely naked riding the ball, swinging through the air while moving her hips like she's riding the bull at a dirty country bar in Davie.
We get it, Miley. You have a great, Pilates-sculpted body that you will use any which way you like -- probably for lots and lots of raunchy, uninhibited big-girl sex -- but there is absolutely no need for you to continually abuse our imaginations with it!
In the end of the video, the wrecking ball (no longer mounted by Miley) moves toward the camera in slow motion, signifying the total carnage that has just been unleashed on our brains (not to mention souls). But this time, we have only ourselves to blame. We should have guessed this was coming, but we just couldn't help but press play. And neither could you.
All we have to say is, poor Britney. The world decided to tear her apart for wearing a tasteful, Swarovski crystal-encrusted bodysuit and using a boa constrictor as a suggestive stage prop. Then she shaved her head and had a full-on mental breakdown. We can only hope whatever the cruel, merciless public eye doles out for Ms. Cyrus in the future isn't nearly as terrible as what she's made us suffer so far.
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