Next... damn, what comes after a week from now? Christmas? Wait, wait... we got it: another Monday! Next Monday we are going to hear her new single. The song is written by Brandon "Blue" Hamilton. Blue produced Justin Bieber's "Born to Be Somebody." We don't know what the term "producer" means anymore, though. Did he man the Auto-Tune? Did he lay down the sick beat? Did he give J-Biebs powerful directions that made him sound like a man?
That "Born to Be Somebody" song is a bland anthem with heavy doses of no one is gonna stop me. There's some pretty cute lyrics in there -- "I'll light up the sky like lightning" and "Feel it, believe it, dream it, be it." But really, Bieber's voice sounds really mature and manly on this song; we wonder if he can help turn Black into the woman nature intended her to be.
Black's song is called "My Moment," and we predict it's going to be like a self-help rally jam like Eminem's "Lose Yourself." Black is gonna take the passion and desperation of Em's banger and rework it with a little self-deprecating humor. The song will be an acknowledgment that she had her moment in the sun. Now, that her Guinness Book of World Records-worthy 15 minutes of fame are over, she is turning that moment into a moment to start living life my moment by moment. Because the moment is now.
The song is definitely going to say, "My moment is now." Other probable lyrics are "washed up," "they said it was over," and "summer's over almost as soon as it began."
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Bonus fact about her new song: It will be produced by Tears for Fears collaborator Charlton Pettus. That means there's a small chance the new song will have a synthesized horn section like "Sowing the Seeds of Love."
We hope it's good; we hope it's a hit. For as weird and awkward as "Friday" was, there was something amazing about it. It wasn't just a case of "so bad it's good." It was much more than that; it was an accidental parody. It was loaded with as little substance as, say, a Miley Cyrus or Ke$ha song; the difference being, Black is just a random girl who probably really loves Fridays and looking forward to the weekends and cruising in whichever seat is most conveniently available.