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Nine Things Hipsters and Hippies Have in Common

Nine Things Hipsters and Hippies Have in Common
Colin Young-Wolff

We can debate eternally about whether the term hipster is "over" or even what characteristics truly define these typically slender snobs, but we'd rather just point out what they have in common with hippies. Why? Because the internet is our brain playground, and we can do whatever we want on it.

From the filthiest, cocaine-snorting, fake glasses-wearing camera hog at a dive bar to the sustainable living, loose, homemade, strawberry-dyed T-shirt-sporting butcher mom in Brooklyn -- we know what a hipster is. And a hippie? Well, if you're confused about that, read a history book, Google Grateful Dead, or call my mom.

Just like you can still sometimes find old dudes in bell-bottoms, long shaggy hair framing their bald spots, sporting tight tie-dyed T's, and dancing with abandon at a rave, you will one day spot old guys with very skinny jeans, asymmetrical haircuts, and tie-dyed shirts with cats on them looking snotty at a trendy outdoor concert 30 years from now. Though some would like them to disappear, the reality is, these trendy types are in it for the long haul.

Here's a guide that unites these "counter-culture" culture makers.

Nine Things Hipsters and Hippies Have in Common
woodleywonderworks via Wikimedia Commons

9. Kale and patchouli

If there's one popular plant that totally perplexes us, it's kale. There are plenty of healthy edible things out there that just don't need to be actually eaten -- kale is the king of those things.

But the fact of the matter is, those two paws reaching for the kale chips at your local Whole Foods (one stinking of head shop patchouli and the other drenched in Tom Ford's White Patchouli) are those of a hippie and a hipster, respectively.

There's also the off chance that both belong to Jennifer Aniston.

Nine Things Hipsters and Hippies Have in Common
Justin Namon

8. Fuel-efficient rides

You gotta give it to these two stereotypes: They both loathe their carbon footprints. Whether they're using biodiesel in their VW van or pumping the pedals of their fixie, they're staying as green as kale with Mama Earth in mind.

Nine Things Hipsters and Hippies Have in Common
Colin Young-Wolff

7. Poo-poo hair

Hair that is sticky from PBR-related splashings at like Union Pool with a touch of sweat from riding their bike to the bar, that is the crown of a hipster. The head of a hippie is just more "I haven't washed it in weeks -- I'm saving water" filthy.

A note to folks with raunchy locks: Dr. Bronner's doesn't really work well as toothpaste or shampoo. Just know that.

 

Nine Things Hipsters and Hippies Have in Common
Colin Young-Wolff

6. Mancleavage

Hirsute, hairless, chubby, or rail thin -- they all wear low V-necks. These people show entirely too much man boob. Put it away. Put your pasty dude jugs away. Thank you.

5. Drugs

This one is sort of not fair, because everyone loves drugs. But these two groups happen to be connoisseurs of marijuana, and edibles especially are in atm.

Nine Things Hipsters and Hippies Have in Common
Ben Salter via Wikimedia Commons

4. Happy pigs and other free-range beasts

There's nothing that makes pigs, hippies, and hipsters more tingly with understandable self-righteousness than sustainable agriculture. Sure they all (including the pigs) occasionally subscribe to the vegan or freegan lifestyle. But the way to live guilt-free and not actually spend your whole life hungry is by knowing that the bacon you're chomping on came from a happy porcine belly, nurtured with grass, not grains.

Nine Things Hipsters and Hippies Have in Common
Stian Roenning and Biagio Musacchia

3. Babe beards

A lot of these folks have beards -- that includes hippie chicks and maybe an extreme hipster lady or two. Not complaining here. Beards are good for those who can grow 'em (boys and gals, srsly). They hide parts of your face no one wants to see anyway! Keep them long, full, and well-groomed.

 

Nine Things Hipsters and Hippies Have in Common
Nanette Gonzales

2. Layering, tie-dye, headbands, and feathers

Wearing a ton of unnecessary flair and things like vests, that is the shit that makes hippies and hipsters like the same thing. Sure the actual accoutrements don't look the same, but the idea remains: "Put a flannel shirt over your henley; it's cool," or "That fringe looks really radical over that other fringe."

Not to play favorites, but hippies do fashion way better, especially the naturists.

Nine Things Hipsters and Hippies Have in Common
Marcin Floryan via Wikimedia Commons

1. DIY

Everyone should make their own pickles and cheese. And everyone should share those delicious treats with their friends. If you fit in one of these groups, you have Mason jars to spare. No excuses.

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