Rihanna and Chris Brown appear to be back together after a bizarre, sexually-tense, passive-aggressive break-up, or hiatus rather. This information has fueled many fucked up emotions in all of us.
We all know how it ended, with tears, bruises, and heartache. That was exactly when my hate for Chris Brown erupted -- seriously, this guy is a piece of shit. I've read so many reactions to this situation, some complex and some just downright offensive. Not sure why people find it easy to, in a roundabout way, pin RiRi as the one at fault. That just comments deeper on where our society stands on male and female roles in relationships than anything else.
The typical and appropriate reaction to this whole thing is: "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GETTING BACK WITH THIS ASSHOLE?" Less so: "Well, it's her choice and we should respect that." This situation reminds me of The Crystals' song "He Hit Me (It Felt Like A Kiss)," a tune that everyone should listen to when assessing Rihanna and Chris Brown's relationship (moreso than the "We Found Love" video). The song, which is about singer Little Eva's experience with domestic violence, is haunting, beautiful, and sad only because of the woman's delusion of love and the violence associated with it.
This sentiment is probably more common than we think, especially in 2012. It's a cross-cultural phenomenon but moreso in hip-hop culture where misogyny exists in its subconscious and abundance. It's sad to not see more artists in the industry stand up against this dude. I don't care how good "Look At Me Now" was.
As of 2000, according to the National Violence Against Women Survey, about 1.5 million women are raped or physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually. That's about 4,000 girls a day. And the women who come back to these relationships, do so out of fear for themselves, children or, even worse, love.
Rihanna doesn't have kids, and it'd be hard to really fear Chris Brown because they both live in a vacuum of spotlight and attention. Besides, Jay-Z will beat the shit outta the kid if he gets near her again. Escaping Brown is easy.
It sucks to see Rihanna getting back with a jerk, who used her face like a piece of clay. As heartbreaking as it is to see a woman go back into something like this, another part of me does realize how much of this lies with her. There's a sense of respect that comes with a decision like it. Not "oh, she's brave," but "well, that's what she chose."
Our country is going through conflict of choice, especially for women. The idea of "her right to choose" is, on some ends, the backbone of our presidential election. There's politics involved in this, and, in a sense, Rihanna chose to be with this dude and I can see that the natural, female politic plays a role here. Not many will comprehend why this is her decision, but now's not a time to be challenging decisions made since we're fighting to accelerate an environment of rights, no matter what the outcome is.
Like Rihanna, we saw Chris Brown mature (arguably) from an Usher-type to Ike Turner. It made the whole abuse more shocking because it was fucking out of character. The tattoo (face of a bruised woman) only solidifies this ongoing male normative bullshit that beating your spouse is generational and normal. Normal, in the sense that it happens all the time. But it is abnormal. It's an engrained facet of macho culture that needs to exit the consciousness and, instead, we need to embrace communication as the solution to everything.
Note: If I spot one of my friends on Facebook saying some horrifying, misogynistic shit where you somehow justify Rihanna getting beaten again (and deserving it), then it's an instant de-friend, block and whatever else I can do to get you out of my life.
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