These three declarations took place at Whirlawayjavascript:passCharacter('180')s last show, which was staged at the Billabong Pub, 3000 Country Club Ln., Pembroke Park. The first occurred at the beginning of the night. The second and third came around last call. These things happen at a bar with 100 beers:

I really like your friend, but I'm not going to tell her. You know, it's 2004. No one has time for a relationship these days.

The Bible is so last year.

Well, I once masturbated to an episode of Full House.

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