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Rick Ross' Black Bar Mitzvah and 5 Jewish Rappers That Might Have (Kosher) Beef with the Bawse

Bawse! Mazel Tov!
Bawse! Mazel Tov!

For reasons that have still yet to be revealed, Rick Ross has a new mixtape out titled The Black Bar Mitzvah, featuring cover art depicting the heavyweight rapper covered in fur and, uh, the star of David.

The only thing weirder than the Teflon Don converting to the world's oldest monotheistic religion via digital download is a Mormon congressman writing songs about Chanukah.

Lucky for him, Utah Senator Orin Hatch didn't incur the wrath of Jewish MCs like Shyne. The same can't be said for the Bawse, who has found himself in some deep Hasidic shit for, according to the actually Jewish rapper, cashing in on the Torah, the Talmud, et al.

Here are five more Jewish rappers that Ricky Rozay best keep an eye on if he wants to remain Big Macher.

5. The Jewish Boys

A Beastie Boys parody trio centered around Judaism seemed a little redundant to us at first. We will, however, entertain the notion that the O.G. Boys were essentially Reform, while the J-Boys intended to appeal to the Orthodox gangstas who ain't too cool for Hebrew School.

4. Kosha Dillz

Like nearly all prepubescent Heebs, Dillz (real name Rami Matan Even-Esh) was first exposed to hip-hop at bar mitzvahs. We also suspect he was exposed to booty dancing and smoking weed out of an empty can of Kosher For Passover Coca Cola. Because -- let's get real -- "becoming a man" is all about awkward boners and being tragically stoned around your Uncle Mermel.

 

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3. Andy Samberg (Lonely Island)

With regard to his career as a joke-rapper, Andy Samberg is definitely a closeted, rhyme-spitting member of God's chosen people. C'mon, bro! Time to take a Birthright trip with Asher Roth and rap about tagging up the Wailing Wall.

2. Hoodie Allen

Being a white Jewish MC was not novel enough for Steven Markowitz. No, Hoodie Allen also deemed it necessary to be a flagrant hipster.

 

1. 2 Live Jews

Can we get an official statement from Uncle Luke on this? Are all hoochie mamas automatically shiksas? Can a playa enter the promised land?




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