Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber's Breakdown: A Freudian Psychosexual Analysis
Shortly before 1 a.m. PST today, TMZ reported the late-breaking story that -- brace yourself -- Justin Bieber's recent extended mad blunted mental breakdown is, if you can believe it,almost directly related to his recent breakup with Selena Gomez
And upon reading this digitally rendered revelation regarding millionaire Millennials and who they're sexting, we couldn't help but think of when social theorist Hannah Arendt, in the course of writing about the Nuremberg Trials, declared, "No shit, Sherlock!"
Plus, Timz (think about it) totally blew the opportunity for some actually hard-hitting Freudian-style (as in, penis-obsessed) psychosexual analysis.
But, hey. That's why County Grind is here.
Luis Fonsi Love + Dance World Tour
TicketsFri., Sep. 22, 8:00pm
Young the Giant: Home of the Strange Tour
TicketsSat., Sep. 23, 7:00pm
David Cook with special guest Kathryn Dean
TicketsSat., Sep. 23, 7:30pm
Arcade Fire - Infinite Content 2017
TicketsSat., Sep. 23, 8:00pm
ISSUES - Headspace Tour
TicketsSun., Sep. 24, 6:00pm
In addition to a massive double-reverse Oedipus complex, Justin Bieber is -- pardon the clinical jargon -- a party fucking animal. But hey, when the Canadian poopstar had Gomez on his arm -- not to mention at the helm of the leash fastened to his peener -- the former Disney tween queen turned Spring Breakers strumpet kept Biebz's inner Charlie Sheen at bay.
And that, ladies and jellydogs of the jury, is the crux of our argument. TMZ thinks Bluntin' Bieber has been earning his nickname and making myriad other questionable life choices in the wake of the couple's breakup. But we think Gomez was like a mighty reservoir that kept the floodwaters of reefer addiction at bay within the Canadian Dutchmaster's war-torn psyche.
And this is what it's like when a dam bursts.
Get the Things to Do Newsletter
Find out about upcoming events and special offers happening in South Florida.