Just steps south is a new neat bar that keeps the gays in mind. Stache, located on Normandy Isle, is an oasis of fun on a quiet strip of street. Recently, Hialeah's finest, as it is known, started a new monthly night there called Made in Dade Mondays. The finest are cross-dressing performers Juleisy and Karla, the most extreme drag queens these parts have seen in awhile.
Last night was the second installment of Made in Dade. Performances included a haunted house set, a donkey show with a plush beast, audience dance participation, and even a New Year's Eve complimentary champagne toast. The night is a little bit gay girl, more gay boy, with a chunk of straights. It's like a quirky alt-queer night for anyone with a sense of humor.
If you're not familiar with Juleisy Y Karla, they are genuinely something else. Karla is big and, well, beautiful, flashing furry ass and tits onstage, bent over in a thong. Juleisy is actor Gio Profera, who appeared in local Borscht Film Festival's La Pageant Diva. As Juleisy, his makeup is straight out of a horror movie. These two bitches are crazy cute, crazy trashy, crazy crazy.
When there was a mic malfunction, Juleisy made a Sarah Palin joke, calling us all mavericks, then announcing, "These microphones are from Hialeah." Their donkey show was crude and rude and delightful. They rode a big stuffed donkey with gusto, placing the mic in places we will not mention. Next, they brought two bearded dudes and an excited lady onstage to do the "Time Warp." They all did it, and they all loved it.
Their rendition of "...Baby One More Time" prompted Karla to say, "We're even better than Britney Spears -- we sing live." Amen to that. The night wound down after a postmidnight champagne toast. Juleisy said, "These people are from Hialeah, already trying to steal the free champagne."
The bar is cozy but fitted with a pole and a pool table. What more could you ask for? Future Made in Dade Mondays will also feature burlesque and circus-like performances. Shit is crazy. It's not a hipster scene or a pretentious queers-only vibe. It's for everyone, like we said, with a sense of humor.
Make sure to catch this next month at Stache Bar, 1220 Normandy Drive, Miami Beach. Appropriately, enter through the back, and thankfully, well drinks are five dollars. More details to come.
Liz has her master’s degree in religion from Florida State University. She has since written for publications and outlets such as Miami New Times, Rolling Stone, Pitchfork, Ocean Drive, the Huffington Post, NBC Miami, Time Out Miami, Insomniac, the Daily Dot, and the Atlantic. Liz spent three years as New Times Broward-Palm Beach’s music editor, was the weekend news editor at Inverse, and is currently the managing editor at Tom Tom Magazine.