Stream: Britney Spears' "Hold It Against Me" Is a Horrible Pickup Line

Who needs game when you're already Britney Spears?
Who needs game when you're already Britney Spears?

This will never, ever happen, but just imagine if Britney Spears walked up to you in a bar. She's got her hands twirled through her blond hair, and she's wearing something risque in your favorite color -- yes, that one. After making eye contact, she says in her slightly drawly accent: "If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?"

When you hear the brand-new Spears single, that piss-poor, overused double-entendre normally reserved for the late-night lounge at a lake cabin resort is the hook, line, and sinker.

Stream: Britney Spears' "Hold it Against Me"

Arguably, Britney Spears could say "I want to smear moose poop all over

your torso" and still excite a certain percentage of the population.

That will never, ever happen either. We can confirm that listening to

"Hold It Against Me," a Max Martin-Dr. Luke adventure, is even less fun.


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