Who needs game when you're already Britney Spears?
Who needs game when you're already Britney Spears?

Stream: Britney Spears' "Hold It Against Me" Is a Horrible Pickup Line

This will never, ever happen, but just imagine if Britney Spears walked up to you in a bar. She's got her hands twirled through her blond hair, and she's wearing something risque in your favorite color -- yes, that one. After making eye contact, she says in her slightly drawly accent: "If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?"

When you hear the brand-new Spears single, that piss-poor, overused double-entendre normally reserved for the late-night lounge at a lake cabin resort is the hook, line, and sinker.

Stream: Britney Spears' "Hold it Against Me"

Arguably, Britney Spears could say "I want to smear moose poop all over

your torso" and still excite a certain percentage of the population.

That will never, ever happen either. We can confirm that listening to

"Hold It Against Me," a Max Martin-Dr. Luke adventure, is even less fun.

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