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Ten Miamians Who Should Diss Lil' Wayne

Yesterday, Pitbull, the 305's reigning lord of reggaeton-rap responded directly to Cash Money, Young Money mogul Lil Wayne's extensive shittalking against the Miami Heat and the team's Holy Trinity of LeBron, Wade, and Chris Bosh's wife .

More specifically, Mr. 305 released a track instructing Wayne to refrain from "shitting where he eats" and -- to our grand delight -- Para de comer tanta pinga. Which, in so many words, is a command that Birdman Junior eat dick.

Pitbull's localism should be a bold example for every star in Dade County to stand up and defend these millionaire athletes from this millionaire pop star.

Here are ten celebs we'd like to see go after Weezy next.


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Ten Miamians Who Should Diss Lil' Wayne

10. Gloria and Emilio Estefan

These two are the First Couple of Miami's Latin beat. They are the Duke and Duchess of tropical riddim. They are King and Queen Conga. And we think Gloria and Emilio need to reform Miami Sound Machine as an A-Team-style ass-kicking troupe and beat the living shit out of Dwayne Carter with maracas.

Ten Miamians Who Should Diss Lil' Wayne

9. Metro Zu

If Weezy don't stay on his toes, he's going to going to be the victim of a mean teabagging courtesy of Metro Zu and the assorted miscreants that comprise the Raider Klan. Yop!


 

Ten Miamians Who Should Diss Lil' Wayne

8. Burnie

Hey, Wayne was dissing the Big B's Big Three. And there is no fury like that of a mascot whose star players have been dissed. Burnie needs to lay the smackdown, pronto.

Ten Miamians Who Should Diss Lil' Wayne

7. Trick Daddy

The Mayor of the County of Dade needs to declare war on Cash Money's pride and joy.

Ten Miamians Who Should Diss Lil' Wayne

6. Iggy Pop and/or Irish Nicky

Hey, what if the Godfather of Punk and Miami's favorite limey bartender jumped Lil Wayne in Little Haiti?


 

Ten Miamians Who Should Diss Lil' Wayne

5. Trina

Or maybe this is a job for Trick Daddy's right-hand trick, Trina. After all, she is the baddest bitch.

Ten Miamians Who Should Diss Lil' Wayne

4. Alonzo Mourning

Because Alonzo Mourning is the Lancelot of South Florida sports.

Ten Miamians Who Should Diss Lil' Wayne

3. Dave Barry

Imagine Dave Barry basing a novel around Weezy F. Baby's feud with the Miami Heat. Or maybe you shouldn't.


 

Ten Miamians Who Should Diss Lil' Wayne

2. Skrawberry

Skrawberry lives a busy life: stripping at King of Diamonds, doling out King Solomon-like wisdom and advice for Miami New Times, and taking provocative selfies. We think it's time she add hitwoman to her CV.

Ten Miamians Who Should Diss Lil' Wayne

1. Norman Braman

Because he can do anything. He's Norman Braman.




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