The Ten Best Fort Lauderdale Bro Bars for Your Bro-Crawl

Bros, assemble!
Bros, assemble!
Photo by Jipsy

So you and Trent just crushed an extraordinarily prodigious calf workout after successfully sneaking into LA Fitness. You're on your way to scoop Doug from his house when you get a text from McKinley saying he just found a debit card on the ground.

It's Saturday. The sun is out. The hair is gelled. You know what time it is.

It's time for a bro-crawl. And only the best Fort Lauderdale bro bars will make the cut.

Let's get it, bro.

Fishbowls: not just for fish anymore, bro.
Fishbowls: not just for fish anymore, bro.
Photo by Kay Kim via Flickr cc

10. Lulu's Bait Shack

All proper bro-crawls start off at the beach, and this one is no different. It's half past noon, and the boys are already slurping their way through their second fishbowl, a Bait Shack specialty.

Lulu's Bait Shack fishbowls are great for several reasons: (1) They contain high amounts of sugar, so you can have the energy to bro-out out for extended periods of time, (2) they feel like they're not regulated by the FDA, and (3) you're allowed to keep 'em when you're finished. They make great souvenirs, and McKinley keeps his grandfather's ashes in one.

After the third and final fishbowl, it's time for the bros to all conveniently go to the bathroom at the same time to skip out on the tab. By the time the server realizes you ain't coming back for the check, the bros will be elbow-deep at the next stop on the bro-crawl.

The Elbro Room.
The Elbro Room.
Photo by Ian Witlen

9. Elbo Room

Get it? Elbow-deep at the Elbo Room? Bro jokes are an essential part of any bro-crawl, so you'll want to rewatch no fewer than two Dane Cook comedy specials before the bro-crawl begins.

Anyway, back to the bro-crawl. The Elbo Room is old-school Fort Lauderdale, bro. It's probably where your bro-ass dad took your hot-ass mom on their first date, and they probably most definitely made out in the bathroom, as epic yet uncomfortable as that is to think about.

At this point in the bro-crawl, Trent is trying to pay for a round of Bud Light Platinums with his high school I.D. (which any good bro keeps handy for mad postgrad discounts), and McKinley is asking girls if they're "ready for the spaghetti," so it's best to get to the next stop quickly and without this happening.

Round up, bros! Time for the next stop!

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