Friday, January 4, 2013 at 9:04 a.m.
Street fashion became overwhelmingly popular about eight years ago thanks to tasteful guys like the Sartorialist and Bill Cunningham. It's like, with all those rail-thin, gorgeous gals on bikes in tailored suits and high-heels, who needs the runway?
But the thing that really steps a lit-up stripper heel right on the face of the beiges and low-key color accents of the Milan roadside fashion mavens is rave party style. Festivals like Electric Daisy Carnival and Ultra have shown us that underground fashion for people on drugs (thankfully) still reigns supreme with the world's youth!
Last night, we attended a pre-party for another of those grand, colorful fests, Holy Ship!!, and found more than a few furry and glowing outfits and topless men with muscles on which to comment. Click onward, matey, for some pecs, sarcasm, and stripper poles.
12. This young Drew Carey look-alike gets what we've been saying for at least a year now: Bracelets are super in! Not only were both of his forearms covered in homemade beaded creations but dude was taking them from his wrists and giving them away. Fashion forward, and fashion friendly.
But perhaps the most notable aspect of his ensemble were his gloves, which lit up at the tips. Topless dude number one over there was enjoying them immensely, as he grinded his teeth in an ecstatic display of approval.
11. These two hot mamas look a little like, well, mamas, kinda, in their Lilly Pulitzer getups, Day-Glo purses, and blown-out hair. But they're clearly, actually, really young. You know why we know they're not old farts? The Minnie Mouse ears! Dead giveaway. And the glowing pink braids in the hair. They prove you can be Palm Beachy and South Beachy.
10. People from all over the world came out to sail on Holy Ship!! This guy wants you to know that. He's telling you with his outfit. "Don't mess with Texas" T, white lensless frames, and a pirate hat? Must be from Austin.
9. Nothing goes better with high-waisted shorts and a hippie headband than a stripper pole. This fashion tip these young ladies learned on the American Apparel website.
8. You know what looks good with everything? Muscles. You hear us, boys? You can put away the things that glow and shine if you have arms with shape like these.
Also, the message on this man's tank defined the vibe of the night. People were filled with love, not anger. This was because the drug of the night was MDMA, not meth.
7. Topless dude number two still thinks he's number one. But, guess if you add those two ones, you get, well, two! No hating on the pecs here; they seem taught, available, and ready to mingle. His glasses though... Is it just us, or do they spell out the letters: B-O-O-B?
6. For the ladies, a vibrating booty always makes whatever you're wearing look about 1,000 times more attractive to everyone else in the room. If you can't dress cool, get working on that booty.
5. Now, if your booty don't vibrate like a Shake Weight, you can buy these spiky Jeffrey Campbell shoes to get some attention. They say to the world: "I'm different. I'm taller. I'm almost wearing Christian Louboutin." And most important: "I am so fashion forward, bitches!"
4. Hand-held glowing things were, obvs, all the rage at the Holy Ship!! pre-party. This guy showed off his glowing thing prowess with ease. He certainly came prepared for the variety of aromas that permeated the sweaty, packed room. Nothing like a little molly seeping from your pores to stink up a place. The handkerchief serves as both fashion and function. And that Gilligan hat? It'll greatly protect his flesh on the high seas from the harsh Caribbean sun.
3. Nothing makes more of a style statement than a water bottle at a club. Sometimes it's saying: "I'm sober." But, mostly it means: "I'm rolling." In this case, we're gonna go out on a limb and say it's the latter. Dude was super nice; he's got a light-bulb necklace and rings that light up. Again, the latter. He's selling glowables onboard, so keep your eyes peeled for these fingers.
2. Topless guy number three went that extra mile and strapped on some neon suspenders. They're sort of unnecessary given his belt, but they're totally perfect for hiding his nipples. Maybe he's an old skinhead and he just wants to bring the skank to the rave. Hats off to that, sir.
1. The absolute best look of the night was the furry polar-bear wear that lights up from underneath. This is some incredible, magical, head-turning (see dude on the left) party fashionista gear. By the end of the night, he probably more resembled roadkill than a Pound Purry, but the initial wow factor of a grownup wearing a lit-up carpet precedes any 6 a.m. concerns.